And today...

There is something about today that makes me want to cross my eyes, stick out my tongue, and run around like a headless chicken.

Either that or jump into the snow and become a Jess-icle.

Holiday Joy

I write from the comforts of my parents' kitchen with the snow falling outside. Oh, I love Wisconsin and snow. It's truly got that Christmas feeling and it makes me giddy. The snow is gorgeous. As long as I don't have to shovel tomorrow morning. I'm officially screwed on the present-buying front though. I still need gifts for the parents and one sister. Yikes. Hope the world is ready for me tomorrow morning. It'll be a mad rush to find stuff.

Flying back was amazingly crazy. Planes were super backed up to Wisconsin, something silly about weather and planes having problems. My flight was overbooked by 3 seats. So I gave up my seat and for compensation, I got a free round trip ticket and free dinner courtesy of Midwest Airlines. How awesome is that?! Now I'll probably take another trip back to Wisconsin for FREE. Or maybe I'll jet-set off to somewhere fun for vacation!! Washington State? Former roommate- please let me visit? Somewhere in California? Hello warm weather. Anchorage, Alaska? Sounds cool too! The delay was only about a 1/2 hour, so it was totally worth it. Also made some friends with the people waiting to fly back to Wisconsin. It was a jolly good time. Yes, I just used the word Jolly.

Dear Santa,
Please send tons of money to my bank account. That would make me very happy. But if you cannot do that, can you at least bring me a few new pairs of shoes??

Snow Snow oh the Snow

There is nothing I do better than procrastinate. And that's what I'm currently doing. I have discovered a mad obsession with a Spanish CD. I have no idea what the name of the CD is. But I feel like the current song is talking about colors... or maybe not. My Spanish is oh so bad. So I have no idea what the singers are saying. But I'm okay with that.

It snowed. Oh yes. The East Coast got dumped on by the Snow Bunny, just like the Midwest did a while ago. And through the Snow Bunny, I ventured to get to work this morning. Except I walked around with a happy grin on my face as I jumped through snow drift after snow drift. All I could think of was: SNOOOOWWWW!!! While everyone walking around me looked like they wanted to kill someone. To me, it is finally winter and Christmas time.

I am almost done. ALMOST. One more final to plow through. Bleh... If I could work up the motivation to study, we'd probably be in business. Since I don't have that motivation, I'm thinking about going to bed. Bad idea? Yes, I know.

Current Favs:
Tea: Harney & Sons Paris. LOOOOOOVE
CD: You know, this Spanish one
Food: Rice Noodles- yes, I'm Asian. Deal with it.
Hair-do: Bed head hair. Leave as is post wake-up.
Outfit: GIANT Wisconsin sweatshirt, pink Wisconsin sweatpants, pink/yellow/white striped fuzzy socks. Yes I match.
Class: All the ones that are officially over
Work: I really kind of really like my job at the store. Selling things is fun. Helping people is fun.

HAPPY SNOW BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finals and things

In grad school, there are still these silly annoyances called Finals and Exams. I have to take a few. Write a few papers. Do all that scholarly stuff to prove I've learned something this semester. Honestly, I could care less right now. And my studying has proven to reflect my feelings. I have this problem... it's called procrastination. Even at the last minute, I still can't get the urge to study for one of my finals. Ahhh well. That's okay. I'll be fine. Plus Grades Don't Matter. Right?! Yep, that's what I thought.

In my procrastination adventures, I have found the texts from last night website very amusing. I also like to download music and seek out new artists. Currently, I love Anjulie. Her song "Rain," I love. "Boom" is pretty fun too. I also spend quality time on celebrity websites. It is unfortunate that they live under these microscopes... but it is for my pleasure and procrastination, so I can't help but enjoy it.

I fly back to the wonderful Midwest in 6 days. Yippee!! I will be seeing all my wonderful lovelies soon enough. I cannot wait to be able to sleep for a straight 18 hours without getting disturbed. Okay... Dumb-dumb might bug me a little, but I can handle her. (Yes, that's what I call our cat.) I can't wait to go home.

Dreams...

Are dreams our subconsciousness talking to us while we sleep? Or are dreams just crazy nonsense? I sure wish I could figure this out. Sometimes I have crazy dreams that I never want to have come true. I have dreams that are nightmares that make me want to die. Then there are the dreams that I wish would come true and I want to stay in the dream forever. I wish I had a dream genie who could make certain dreams come true. No, I don't want the dream about me running down my elementary school hallway naked to come true. And no, I don't want the dream of me getting sucked into the rapids of the Nile, drowning to death, to come true either. But some dreams would be nice. Like the time I win $100 million dollars and don't know what to do with all the money. Or... well you know... if you know me well enough, I bet you know what dreams I really want to come true. Especially now...

Finals are steadily approaching. I am almost done with my 1st semester of grad school. Hallelujah! Huzzah! Hooray! Let's just hope I pass. Because with the glasses of wine and rum/cokes I've been having at night... let's just say I haven't been very productive. But sometimes they're so nice and comforting after a long ass day of work and class and work and class AND work.

PS I am l.o.v.i.n.g. my Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash. Totally worth it. Makes my day worth waking up for. And walking home for. Now if I could get some vodka to add to it, my life would be x2 better.

PPS I prefer Firefox to Internet Explorer.

PPPS I don't know how to go to bed early. NO matter how tired I am. It's weird.

Adventures of the Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash

I'm stupid. The next time I walk into a grocery store and see Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash (my favorite soda ever), I shouldn't buy two 12-packs. I walked 1 mile home with my soda. All I could think about was the delicious taste of its liquid sliding down my throat as my arms screamed angry profanities at me and my credit card. Then as I walked... the cardboard was ripping... the box in my left hand ripped. Oh yes, I was the girl kneeling on the side of the road, grabbing at cans of soda (3 rolled away from me). Now I have a backpack of food, 1 broken 6-pack, 1 complete 6-pack. So I unload some food and put all 12 cans into my backpack. I am that pathetic girl walking home with her soda. Oh Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash, you had better be worth it. And right now, you are. Not only do you taste great, I walked into my apartment giggling my head off at the outrageous-ness of the situation. And how stupid I am to think I would be able to get two 12-packs 1 mile home. But nonetheless, this soda is awesome

Wisconsin, I hope you enjoy the snow. I will think of you, dream of you, and wish you well from here on the East Coast. Keep it around so I can see it when I come home for Thanksgiving!!

Dear...

Dear friends who read this and anyone else who is unfortunate enough to stumble upon my blog,
I am debating buying some Uggs... Yes, I know this will go against everything my Midwestern mind has been taught. But it is cold here, on the East coast... and I need boots. So unless you can come up with some other kinds of boots to keep my feetsies warm this winter, I may purchase some Uggs. Dont judge, suggest other options!

Dear Neighbor,
Whoever you are, you wear heels all the time. They may make you look 10 feet tall or give you a boost of confidence or are the only things you have to wear, but they are annoying. I can hear you tap tap tapping across the floor at 7am... at 8pm... How about we walk around the apartment barefoot for a while?

Dear Work,
I do like you. You pay me money. But I do not like the unexpected schedule change. You have officially taken over my weekends. I will see you again soon...

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is money. Lots and Lot of money. If you could print like $100,000 for me, I would be grateful. Or at least enough to cover my rent and tuition, I'd be a happy camper. I always believed you were real. I swear. On my family's cat's life... all 9 of them. Please make my wish come true, oh please?!

Dear East Coast City,
It snowed. It looks awesome. Except now why the hell are you so icy? Not only are you icy... the stupid ice covers your stupid brick or cobblestone sidewalks. No, it does not make it any easier to walk on. Seriously, we need to consider laying concrete down... Brick just doesn't do it for my ankles. One of these days, I'm going to break one and then I'll really have something to bitch about.

Attack of the Technology

Photocopy machines hate me. HATE ME. At work... it makes my lif difficult. It aways gets jammed... WTF! Aren't these things made to just work properly? BUT noooooooooo. I always have to fix it. I HATE THESE MACHINES! Too bad I must make the photocopie...

I am never getting pregnant. I don't want to and YOU can't make me. Ladies were talking about pregnancy at work. One of the doctors is pregnant... so many things you cannot eat. There are many restrictions on fish. Mostly you cannot eat sushi. SERIOUSLY? Sad! No coffee except decaf... I guess I don't drink coffee so it's not a big deal. Cravings and restrictions on diet- that's just dumb. I don't want to have to deal with that.

Private Practice tonight... a bomb will go off. I am pumped!!! Private practce has rocked this season. I am also enjoying Grey's Anatomy for a change. Yippee.

Why do computers and things technological hate me? They do. My computer... I think there's something wrong with it... again... ad it's new. Seriously? Why do things work for other people, but never for me? Why? WHYYYYYYYYY!

Happy Thursday!

Today was not my day

As the title states, today was not my day... My sentences may be fragments today. So sue me.

1) 8AM- Forgot my student ID at home this morning. Couldn't get into the office for work. Waited by the door, knocked, 5-8 minutes later someone finally let me in.
2) 11:30AM- So tired, nodded off in class. No idea what my notes say. Sh*t.
3) 2PM- It's raining outside. Bottom of my pants are wet. I hate that feeling.
4) 3PM- Walking to drop off rent. Walking in the rain. Wearing flip-flops because I do not own rain boots and did not want my shoes to be wet for work. Stepped completely out of my flip-flop. Had to hobble back barefoot for it.
5) 5PM- Bought dinner. Brought it back to the store. Left it on the counter. Managed to knock it over onto the ground. Sh*t, no food for me. Including the giant cup of water I got from Starbucks. No water for me. Double sh*t.
6) 10PM- Trying to eat a Lean Pocket while writing a paper. Drop sauce on my shirt and yoga pants. F*CK ME. Must wash it before it stains.

These are the woes of my day. Not actually very significant. But compounding on the fact that I'm getting a sore throat, God knows I probably have H1N1, and I'm tired as _____... I am not exactly your happiest camper. No, this camper is just going to bed and hoping for a better day tomorrow. Wish me luck.

PS People really f*cking suck. We'll leave that statement as a general one about the world. No back story necessary. 

Thanksgiving wrap-up

Thanksgiving story: my family bought a bottle of wine. First bottle of wine for Thanksgiving. EVER. It was only 1 bottle, but still. It was some wine. Problem: no wine opener in the house. Yes, I live in a dry house... except for the vodka my mom cooks with. So there was no way to open this bottle of wine. We tried using a Swiss army knife's bottle opener- no luck. We tried Googling "How to open a bottle of wine without a wine opener." I tried the screw and hammer technique. Stick a screw into the cork, use the hammer's nail prying end and pull... It didn't work. After much sadness (on my part), we finally pushed the cork into the bottle. The wine was good and it was well worth the effort.

Black Friday morning- 4am, I joined the other crazies on the shopping excursions. JCPenney provided me with the yearly Disney snowglobe. I didn't really buy much, but I enjoyed the neurotic atmosphere of people buying tons of shit.

I am so full. I think I ate my weight in food these past few days. I should not eat again for a very long time. Now on to homework doing... Curse my public health writing class. It is taking over my life and it's driving me a little nutty. HATE HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW. All I want to do is watch a movie and take a nap.

Brilliant Idea: Do not eat again until winter break. I will never become unfull unless I don't eat for 3 weeks.

Lush Lite

In true Wisconsin style, I love beer. I used to dislike it. Thought it tasted terrible. Not so much anymore. I got off work Saturday and all I could think about was beer. And pizza. I went home. 6 pack of Miller Lite and a pizza. It was awesome. I never finished the pack. So I had one tonight as I worked on a paper for one of my classes. Who says I can't enjoy life! Or the taste of beer... Now give me a Spotted Cow (which I looked for and cannot find in MA) and I'll be happier.

I'm coming back to the state for Thanksgiving. A little R&R in the Midwest- much needed. But I will have a paper to write and things to do. Oh well. Some good Wisconsin air will help my soul, I just know it. PLUS Black Friday?! HELL YES! I love getting up at the crack of dawn and shopping with the madness. It's my fav thing to do. F.A.V.O.R.I.T.E. The deals are great. Only a few more days...

Currently listening to: "Mickey" by B*Witched... why? Oh... I don't know. Because it's a catchy, happy song

Klutz

Today I was walking down the street... I was crossing a busy street and right in the middle, I pitch forward and face plant on the pavement. Right on my hands and knees, middle of the intersection. Yes, it was embarrassing. Many people saw. Some snickered. Some laughed. Some looked away. My knees look ridiculous now. And I felt rather stupid.

To add to that, I was walking around Barnes & Noble later in the afternoon. I was walking by a large display of books. I went to go walk around this display... and managed to get caught on a corner of it. Brought half of it down. Bang. Books all over the place. People look up, people stare. I feel like a fool as I try to pick all of them up. There were A LOT of them.

Then as I cook myself dinner... The dishwasher was running. Colander was in the dishwasher. I make pasta. Got it? So I'm trying to strain the pasta with the lid of the pot. Splat, half of the noodles feel out into the sink as I'm straining the pasta. My dinner was reduced in half.

This was my day... along with working 2 of the 3 jobs. I'm tired, I feel klutzy and I'm sore. Yes, you may laugh all you want at my expense. I would if I were you.

workity work

I am officially coo-coo. I am going to work 3 jobs and do school full-time. This reminds me of a former roommate of mine and if she could do it, so can I! Though she's way cooler and more normal than I am, so that might factor in a little.

Job 1- Gourmet food store. It's a retail job selling chocolate, foie gra, caviar, tea and such. I will be an expert European chocolate seller in no time.
Job 2- Office wench. I do whatever I'm told, which will mean paperwork stuff.
Job 3- Education assistant. What does this mean? Not sure. But something about assisting trainings that go on at school... or something to that effect. I'll let you know when I know more.

But that's it! I'm going to be a busy bee for the next month and in the coming semester. And I hope to God it helps me focus and forget the funkiness and stupidity. Maybe I'll regain a smidge of normalcy back. Because right now I'm approximately 150% not. I'm in that abyss of not. So this will be good for me. Or it will kill me. Either way, I can't wait to find out.

So I'm not going to Madison for Thanksgiving. I kind of want to... but I'm going home. Close enough to Madison. Way closer than I am now. I WILL try to go there over winter break. I want to. And I have decided that I don't want to allow my parents to dictate what I do over my break. Nope nope nope. I want to see my friends and relax. So y'all who read this mumbo jumbo that I write and are in the Sconnie area, I'll see you in Madison... maybe for my b-day?! New Years?! Say yes because I need/want/crave a Spotted Cow.

Favorites right now:
Music: Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
Book: Don't read anymore, so I have no idea (isn't that sad?)
TV Show: Brothers and Sisters
When I'm in the Apartment: Trying to wear the least amount of clothing possible... or as appropriate. hahaha
Thought: How it will be nice to have money to invest in a pair of shoes one of these days = First paycheck
Website: Perez Hilton, what better way to waste time than on trashy celeblogs

I hope Peace and Happiness follows you everywhere you go.

Check... Reality check, that is

I'm really starting to hate growing up. It's mostly just painful and and overall shitty experience. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Gag me. I'm starting to hate it, but I know it's necessary. Life is less than fairy tale. Depressing depressing depressing... it's like I'm a broken record. Stupid little girl, right? Yea, I agree with you. Don't worry. I'm working on it.

I now have a job. Well, I haven't started it yet. But I have one! Actually... I potentially have like 4. I have to figure out how to reject one or a few. 3 months of trying and I finally have potential to have an income. You have no idea how nice that is. I'm really tired of sitting around on my ass, only doing school, and watching my bank account shrink.Yippee!

Dear B.o.t.S.

Dear Boy on the Street,
I think you're kind of an idiot. Not only did you run across the street to stand at the bus stop when the bus was still a block away, you waved at it when it was 1/2 a block away. OK, here's the deal. It's a bus stop. The bus ALWAYS stops there. It will see you STANDING at the bus stop. It will stop. No need to smile and wave it down like a taxi. People stared at you like you were crazy. You ARE crazy. Also, the Odwalla you had shoved in your back pocket... very weird. Very awkward, very warm-looking, very-much stretching out your back pants pocket. I think you are a very strange human being.
Hope to never see you again.

teeter totter

I'm really tired of feeling crazy. It's like my normal state now, whereas normalcy is a rare event. Too many compounding issues are always nagging me and pulling me down. And really there's nothing more to say about it.

When you're standing on the precipice of change, how do you know which way to tip?

There are life-altering decisions that can be made- one way or another... And how do you know which one is the right one to choose? These are my thoughts. I can't stop thinking about them... I am officially a crazy person.

Brain convo

If I could have a conversation with my brain stem/brain/neurotransmitters, it would go something like this:

Me: Why do I feel so tired during the day and then become an insomniac at night?
BS/B/N: Because we're difficult.
Me: Cut it out! I actually want to fall asleep at night!
BS/B/N: Nahhhhhh... what you want is to feel so tired during the day and in class that you feel nauseous and in pain!
Me: Uh NO!
BS/B/N: Too bad because that's what we feel like doing to you. Suffer!! SUFFER! Mwahahaha!!!
Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So that's my current problem and it's seriously messed up because I have midterms to be studying for. YET I feel so sick I can't study. This sucks.

I had my last class about women's health issues other than reproductive health today. Hallelujah! I didn't really enjoy that professor and now it's over. Let's just hope I didn't fail that last paper I wrote because I'm not sure if it actually made sense.

And seriously, 2 guys in Chicago who plotted to attack employees of a Danish newspaper, you're stupid. First, for getting caught and second, why Denmark?! That's just dumb. Read about it on NY Times. That's all I have for my Tuesday thoughts.

Très bien, merci

Remember my list of goals? It's been a while, so let's assess:

1. Do well in school- I'm working on it!
2. Job- still searching, don't want to talk about it.
3. The languages: I found a way to tackle my challenging hopes for language learning. iTunes podcasts!!!!! Yea, pretty awesome. So right now, I've got some French and Arabic going on. Currently listening to a French one. I have no idea how to spell anything- I got the title from a French phrases website. And as of right now, that's all I can say. But I'm working on it! Impressive, huh? 
4. I joined a club on campus called Rotaract. I've been able to meet lots of people through it and I like it. Woohoo, I'm involved in school!
5. Still working on going abroad next year
6. Positivity? I'm still working on that one...
7. I'm super off on one of my W's and don't have one W at all. So... that goal is sucking a bit. BUT I promise to work on it

I have a test on Wednesday that I should be studying for, but I don't want to. I'm procrastinating again. The other day I had a dream that I was at an acupuncturist and had needles stuck all on my back. Super weird and creepy dream to have. Then last night I had a dream that I was watching people I know have sex. Very strange and unnecessary. I woke up and wanted to rip my eyes out. Not a pleasant way to wake up. I think being in the sickness coma and medicating myself when I go to bed is causing some weird dreams.

Au revoir!

Stress and Sh*t

My life has become a sort of rolling stress bubble. What does not disappear becomes rolled into my giant sticky ball of stress. Imagine a huge bubble ball rolling down the brick sidewalk/road of New England with me walking inside of it like a hamster inside of its ball. WITH all these stressful things jiggling around inside the ball with me. So welcome to my world.

I hate getting sick. Especially during the school year because then I don't want to do any work, but I have to. The pressure in my sinuses is so bad and my head feels like it's a huge balloon. This is just not cool. Problem is: I have a big paper due... oh TOMORROW. I have like 1 page written. Needs to be 6. We'll see how this goes. Also because there are more important things to be doing in life right now. Like what you ask? Oh... let's see:

blogging- which is what I'm doing right now. 
Vampire Diaries- yes I'm getting sucked into a show about Vampires. Yes, I still hate Twilight. I think I only like this show due to the music they play throughout it. Anyway, judge me. It's okay, I do it all the time.
Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice- new episodes tonight, I will not miss them. Grey's Anatomy has seriously got to stop firing people or else I'm giving up watching it like I did back in seasons 3 and 4 and most of 5.
SLEEPING- my head hurts, I'm tired. I look like crap. Yes, I just want to go to bed.

Curse the sickness. It's going to kill me, I swear. Stupid HIV... if only you didn't exist. Then I wouldn't have to write all these freaking papers about you. Stupid stupid virus.

Hmm...

I love:

The movie Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley
The smell of rain
Cuddling with someone I love

I have a love/hate relationship with:

Ice cream, pizza, and lots of other junk food (because it tastes so good but makes me fat)
Airports (it means I'm traveling to go somewhere, but I kind of hate them)
Cranberry juice (it goes well with vodka but it also goes well treating a UTI and stains my clothes)

I have 3 papers to write and no motivation. It seems to be the theme.

PS: Flamenco music is p.r.e.t.t.y. cool

Twiddling My Thumbs

It's hard to do work when you have absolutely no desire to do it. This is my issue right now. I have managed to waste at least a day and a half... procrastinating so much. I think I've checked facebook way too much. It's very unhealthy. I have also managed to think that Britney Spears' new song "3" is kind of catchy. Too bad I still have 3 papers to write. This could be a problem.

Bounce thoughts, Bounce

I bought a dress I can't afford today. I can't afford it because I have no money. But I love the dress. So I bought it. But who knows when I'll actually wear it because 1) it's kind of fancy 2) I need to lose weight to look better in it 3) I don't have anyone I feel the need to impress here.

I don't like doing homework. I procrastinate constantly.

I'm really full right now... Garlic bread pizza is awesome. But now I want a beer.

Glow in the Dark condoms... I find them an interesting invention (not that I have recent experience)... it would be like a light saber... think about it.

I painted my toenails red. I think painted toenails are cuter than non-painted toenails.

I need to work out more. I want to run a 10K.

5 more days!!!

So... 5 more days until I get to go back to my alma mater for Homecoming!!! SOOO excited!!! I think it's kind of cool that now it's actually "homecoming" for me, being an alum and all. I am so excited to see all my friends! The one goal will be not to get TOO drunk. We all know how my liver works... not well... and I don't want to be super hungover any of the days I'm in Madison. We'll see how that goes.

So I'm currently in super procrastination mode. I haven't really done any homework all day, but I really need to. Since I'm going to be in Madison all next weekend and I have papers due the following week, I really need to get work done. Too bad I can never get anything done unless I'm under pressure. And right now, no pressure is being felt. Ugh. Someone needs to light a fire under my butt or something.

Alright, let's discuss some current things I like right now

Music: Jay-Z's The Blueprint 3 CD, The Noisettes (a British Indie rock band), Marié Digby
Books: Honestly? I haven't had any time to do any pleasure reading, so I have no idea.
Food: tomato basil bread
TV shows: Grey's Anatomy (the new season rocks), One Tree Hill (it's not that great and I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to tolerate it), Gossip Girl (yes, I got into this show and I think its great)
Movies: Haven't seen any new ones recently- can't afford to go to the movie theaters.

Happy Sunday!

My Boobs are Burning

Yea, you read it right. It's actually more my cleavage and only a little part of each boob. It BURNS. I have no idea why. I took a shower and then... I felt it BURNING. WTF?! And now there is a red rash in my cleavage. WTF?!?!?!?!?! My. Cleavage. BURNS.

Last night I went out with my neighbors and it was a lot of fun! The problem is I got very hungover... Tequila, Bad. Beer, Bad. More Tequila, Bad. I hate being hungover.

But here's the thing... I may be going out again tonight... tehehe...

BUT MY CLEAVAGE/BOOBS HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

There is no theme to this one

These are the thoughts of my day...

1. TV is one of the best inventions ever. It's amazing the amount of time you can waste watching TV. It's also amazing that you can use it to forget everything else in your life for a snippet of time.
2. Drinking many Diet Cokes in a row is never good or healthy.
3. I don't like cutting fingernails because it feels weird afterward.
4. I really don't like writing papers.
5. I think I know what classes I want to take next semester... but that always changes.
   
6. Though I know for a fact it's because I haven't been sleeping and it's pointless to say, but I'm tired.
7. I believe the not-sleeping is making me seriously insane, more than normal. Which is never a good thing. Makes me react insanely to... well everything.
   

That's all I got. Actually I have more... but I'm too tired to write it all out via blog. Read my mind, it's easier that way.

Annoyances

Psst East Coast Girls: Tights are not pants. If your shirt doesn't cover your butt, you are not allowed to wear only tights. I do not want to see the outline of your underwear. The end.

Hey You, Asian Dudes: If your hair is like 4-5 inches long, how much hair gel does it take to make ALL your hair stand STRAIGHT up? Must be a lot because it's not moving, even with wild gusts of wind. Not okay. If your hair isn't standing straight up, it is still so well styled I want to put you in a hair museum... but it's not moving in the wind either... which means: way. too. much. hair. product.

Squeeks: You are the annoying Asian girl who is in 2 of my classes. I call you Squeeks because your voice is squeeky. You sound like you're 4. Actually you kind of sound like the little Asian girl on the PC commercials. Problem is, she's cute. You are not. You have the most enormous ROCK on your left hand. It blinks like morse code whenever you raise your hand to ask a question in class. And you raise your hand VERY OFTEN. Stop asking stupid questions. Read the slides. The answer to your questions are always already in the slides. SHUT UP.

These are the things that annoy me.

Rated at least PG-13

It turns out that no matter how I try, I can never stop being a night owl. I seem to work best when the rest of the world is sleeping. I've been told this is bad for my body, my skin... just about my everything, but tell that to my brain!

You are forewarned that this post was done at 1am and is rated at least PG-13, probably more along the lines of R.

Again, you are warned that this is me in full effect...

I realized today that I chose the right field to pursue a career in. If you know me well, you know that one of my favorite topics of discussion is sex. Just plain, honest sex. Don't hold back, as dirty as you can get, sex. I like things that make people squirm uncomfortable. I like honesty. Think about it though, sex is as honest as it gets (unless you're getting raped and that's a whole other topic or if you lie your way into the actual action or a whole number of things... I guess I'm talking more about the actual action of doing so if you're doing it with someone you like/love/whatever). If you're completely in action, sex is honest. You're naked, completely exposed, vulnerable... People, it's all out there to be seen. Hello skin! (Well... unless it's pitch black and you're just grabbing at things...) Overall nothing to hide. I like it!

Okay, you're probably reading this and going: oh Jess...
Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know... But really, it's not my fault. I've been flipping back and forth through this book called The Wisdom of Whores: Bureaucrats, Brothels, and The Business of AIDS. Writing a critical book review for one of my classes... I've written paragraph after paragraph about safe sex, anal sex, oral sex, bodily fluids, gay, straight (okay there's the occasional intravenous drug user and dirty needle bit thrown in there)... reread parts of the book, reread parts of the paper... for the most part: sex sex sex... ALL DAY LONG. Welcome to the Field of Public Health. Turns out we're not afraid to talk/write about anything and I'm writing a paper about sex that will make up about 50% of my grade.

**Disclaimer**no ACTUAL action going on here, just keyboard typing**

Estrogen Fest!

The public health program I'm in is probably 90% female. Okay, maybe a little less, but it is definitely female dominated. So guys, if you want really great odds in your field of work right now, do public health. It's a little intense for me, coming from the girl who used to solely see approximately 3 guys on a daily basis. But I'm slowly getting used to it. It's easier to get used to than hanging out with a whole group of Asians!

Last night a girl held a potluck dinner at her house and had about a dozen girls from the program over. It was actually a lot of fun. There was food and wine and lots of talking. But I think my favorite part of the night was the sex talk. Don't ask me how we got into it (it was probably my fault). But we discussed glow-in-the-dark condoms, the vibrating ring, and birth control. It was hilarious and probably one of the more relaxing conversations I've had in a while. Now let me tell you, having a dozen or so girls in one room talking at one time is quite entertaining. The more wine you give us, the more animated we seem to get. I had a really good time though.

Now onto a day of homework doing...

This one's a little... depressing?

Have no fear, J, you are still not good enough to get hired for a job. We are delighted to have you read rejection email number 27 that says: "you had a great resume and interview, but you aren't good enough for us to want to hire you." Ding ding ding!

This really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To the point where I have been completely unproductive this afternoon. Rather than writing the paper that I need to, I have been sleeping to avoid listening to my brain. Though it is only 5ish, I kind of want to drink myself into a stupor and pass out forever. You know, it's one thing to have friends you can hang out with, who will give you a hug when you're having a bad day, and who will sit and sympathize with you (by drinking your sorrows away). It's another to do it by yourself. It's really depressing. I'm depressing... I'm starting to hate myself for this depressing funk I'm in. Too bad I don't know to fix it... other than trying some drugs... Coke or heroin, anyone???

Failure

I would like to put in an order for a new brain. I CANNOT WRITE THE PAPERS I NEED TO GET DONE FOR CLASS!!! Right now I am staring at one Microsoft Word Document and it says:
"I don't know what my thesis is. I don't know what to write, FUCK!" And that's just for one class. The other papers are completely blank. Ugh! I feel completely incompetent. Maybe now I should just realize that I am going to completely fail grad school.

F#$@! Sh%$! Godd&^*#@! F^%$! F&*&! Big fat F@#%!

Calling all friends, any friends I have who love me: please come get me and take me home. P.L.E.A.S.E.

Some Weirdness and A Touch of Home

Yesterday, at one point, I managed to find myself in the presence of about 10 Asians. I was in shock, to say the least. I went out to the bars with a few friends (they're Asian) and they saw some of their Asian friends. It turned out that it was one of their birthdays, so it was a BIG Asian mixer in our area of the bar. And when I say mixer, I mean... 2 other girls and me with a whole bunch of Asian guys with more product in their hair than I had in my hair. CRAZY!!! I immediately thought of all my wonderful Caucasian friends back at home (or wherever in the world they might be) and missed them terribly. Guys, I'm totally white-washed. I don't know how I feel about being in the presence of so many Asians who I'm not related to. When I'm related to them, it's just a family reunion. Last night? That was just weird. There were just so many of them! I bet they're nice (sober or not) but... not for me!! I'm the Midwest-grown, dairy product-fed (no cheese) girl who usually turns out to be the token Asian in a group of friends, not that I mind at all. But I learned a few things (that I already knew but would like to re-emphasize):

- They need LESS hair product, LESS! If your hair doesn't budge at all, no matter what you're doing, how much head shaking there is, how hard you jump on the dance floor, how much you run around, how horribly you're puking on the street, you need to seriously reassess the amount of hair product you're using.
- They need to not try to hit on me. It's never going to work; I'm not attracted to you. No matter how much alcohol you try to give me... which, by the way, if I ask for WATER, don't bring me more alcohol. Doesn't make me want to take off my clothes for you, dance up on you, or go home with you any more than I wanted to 10 minutes ago. No means NO.
- There is no need to be vain. Yes I can see the veins popping out of your buff arms, but hey, white guys have that too... actually lots of guys in general have that.

Movie shooting seems to happen throughout Boston recently. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz were shooting a few blocks from my place during the week. The movie will be called Wichita, I think. Let me tell you, at some point when Cameron Diaz is in a yellow dress and boots, that's close to my place. And I believe they filmed a car crash scene there too. Today I happened upon the set of the new Ben Affleck movie, something about bank robbers? I was told the film is called The Town. There were cops, FBI, and some gun fire. A girl I talked to said she saw Ben Affleck smoking somewhere and was starstruck. I guess Boston is the place to be to try to get a glimpse of a few new movie shoots.

Today was also a very nice day for a taste of home. I went to watch the Badger game at a bar with the UW alumni association- Boston people. It was fun!! All of us in our Badger get-up in the middle of Boston. But I sure did miss Madison and being in Camp Randall. Pretty cool! I ended up running into a guy who took Biocore with me on the T. Turns out he was also headed toward the bar... crazy small world we live in! I guess he moved to Boston and is working and applying to med schools. I was just so amazed that I ran into him... on the T!

Pretty solid weekend! But tomorrow will have to be a day of studying. I need to be productive BECAUSE my weekend in Madison is coming up!!! I don't want to have work to do that weekend! 19 Days before my feet return to Midwestern soil!!!

Short and Sweet

After going out Friday night, I had 2.5 drinks and woke up with a major hangover. My liver is regressing even more and my tolerance is nil. That's just embarrassing. I should have SOME tolerance. I'm a Badger for goodness sake! But no... I can't hold my liquor at all.

I spent some time yesterday with my roommate in Cambridge and can I just say, it's gorgeous over there. All those Harvard students looking all prepping makes me wrinkle my nose a little in disgust. BUT the area is amazingly beautiful. I'd want to move out there sometime. Maybe. I'm getting used to our semi-scary corner of the city. It's not as intimidating anymore. I usually just throw on my ipod and sunglasses and am out the door.

Today I plan on doing lots of homework. Boo. But it must be done!

Popcorn Thoughts

I've had such depressing posts recently; I decided it's time for some positivity. Here are some bouncy thoughts from me.

TV Shows:

• Roommate and I have been on a total Gossip Girl kick. Crazy, I know. I never knew I'd enjoy drama about the Upper Eastsiders... but it's kind of fun when I have no social life.
• One Tree Hill!!! Last season came out on DVD and I borrowed it from the library. WONDERFUL
• Grey's Anatomy... NEW SEASON starting September 24th. WOOHOO- previews looked awesome

Books:

• I've been reading Africa Doesn't Matter- great book about Africa and why aid isn't helping
• For class, I have to read The Wisdom of Whores- I love it so far
• I really want to read a book called My Prison, My Home- look it up, sounds fascinating and the author sounds amazing

I really want to go shopping but I can't afford it. Ahh the life of a poor grad student. It's even worse than the life of an undergrad. That's probably because I didn't worry about money all the time.

I MISS My Wisconsin Buddies!!!

Boring

Basically I'm boring. I go to class, I read, I go to the gym. Thaaat's about it. There's not much to say. Never knew I could be a semi-hermit. But now I know. It's very possible. I am mostly back in the grad school groove, but I don't have a social life. Boston has not been as interesting as many people have made it out to sound, but that could also be due to the fact that I have no money to spend on fun.

That's all for now

Positive thinking

I am trying to calm myself down and take one day at a time. And today has been my "Jess" day, a day to figure things out. I have made up a list of goals I have for myself and hopefully I’ll achieve them all this academic year.

GOALS
1) Do well in school- this is a given, but it must be placed at the top of my list
2) Work at a job (or 2)- this is also a given but must be mentioned
3) Languages!!!- Yes, this goal is high reaching and completely crazy, but I think I can do it. Practice Chinese- I have found when speaking to my parents that I am adequate at best in the language that is supposed to be my heritage. So now it is my goal to improve my vocabulary and maybe actually learn to read it better. Learn/practice Arabic- I took a year of it and it was hard! I better not lose it now, though sometimes I already think I have. I need to brush up on it and learn more. Brush up that rusty old Spanish- I took it in high school, but I still remember some things. I want to improve it so I have it as a supplementary language. Learn French- I’ve always wanted to.
4) Join a club- Getting involved in school is important to me and I think it’s a great way to meet people. It’s just hard to make time for it, so I am going to try this year.
5) Go abroad (this summer or next fall)- pretty self-explanatory
6) STAY POSITIVE- I have a bad habit of being an utter pessimist and freaking out about… well everything. I want to try to be better at staying positive and calm without needing to pick up a phone and calling home.
7) WORK HARD- My 3 Ws… I want to focus on them. They are my primary goals and I need to concentrate on them. If you don’t know what they are… we haven’t talked enough.

The language goal seems a little intense, I know. But I think it’s doable. I mean, I need to concentrate on one thing at a time… and maybe the French will need to be put off for a while, due to the idea of learning something completely new makes my head spin a little. But Chinese, Arabic, and Spanish?? I truly hope they’ll be attainable. I think I can, I think I can J

I know everything will fall into place with time. I’m just not very patient and need to learn to be. I also need to learn how to sleep more, but that’s beside the point. I think I’ve rambled on enough… I really wish I could turn my brain off, but oh well…


Permanent Mantra: It’s not a hardship; it’s an adventure

I have a stain

I would like to announce that the worrying I had been doing before has not abated. The only way I've been getting away from it is ignoring it, which is harder than you would think. It's like a stain on your jeans while you're in class or out. Constantly there, constantly bugging you. But you can't just strip off your jeans and walk around in your underwear just to avoid looking at that stain or knowing it's there. I wish I could turn my brain off, wash the stain off, but I can't. There's just a lot to think about. I think that's all I'm going to write about it for now because I just can't bring myself to type everything out and read it on a computer screen as well as hearing myself talk to... well myself in my head. Pray for my sanity because I think I'm losing it.

First Day of Grad School

Today is my first day of school! I'm not nearly as excited as I thought I'd be, but I think that's due to the fact that I have had to do over 100 pages of reading before class even started. It's unbelievable that I am back in school. I just graduated!!! But I am now studying something I find more interesting and will be more useful to me in my career. It doesn't feel like the first day of school because I don't have class until 6pm. Yes, 6pm... then I will sit in a lecture hall for 2 hours. Doesn't that just sound delightful? Note the sarcasm. We'll see if I can make it through Day 1 without falling asleep in class.

I'm really hoping to finish this degree in a year and a half. But I also really want to study abroad. We have a program at school where I can get all the credits I take abroad to go toward my degree. It's in the Philippines. I've never been there and I heard the program is pretty tough. But I think it would be an amazing experience and something I wouldn't regret. I'm planning on doing that next winter. Then there is a final "thing" we have to do for our degree and people say it's not easy to do it if I were abroad... but I think I'm going to try. Finishing in 3 semesters would save money (tuition is brutal here) and then I could go on my merry way, toward my actual career.

Wish me good luck in my first class! And just hope grad school isn't as hard as I'm expecting it to be!

Bouncing nerves

So the last 2 days have been orientation for my grad school program. I am slightly overwhelmed. It's hard learning the info and details about a new school, its system, policies, etc. I'm pretty tired and worried about all the stuff I need to get done before classes start Wednesday. It seems like there's going to be a lot of reading involved for homework and class projects. I know I just graduated, so I should know how to do school still and all. But I'm a little nervous that grad school is a lot different from undergrad. I don't think I'll be able to procrastinate and slack as much. On top of that, I still desperately need a job... so money is one of the top things on my list of things to be worried about.

There are so many things to be worried about that it's hard to enjoy this beautiful city I've moved to now. Everywhere I look I wonder, "can I get a job there?" rather than "that's so cool" or "it's amazing." I feel like I'm whining constantly and am starting to feel stupid. I just hope it's not as bad as I think.

Favorites from this Summer

Favorite Summer Movie: The Ugly Truth, most definitely

Favorite Summer Cocktail: Mojito

Favorite Summer Song: In the Summer Time- Mungo Jerry

Favorite Summer Meal: Summer salad or light sandwich

Favorite Summer Outfit: Light, summer dress

Favorite Summer Reading: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo- Stieg Larsson

Favorite Summer Moment: Sitting on the Terrace with friends, having some beer

Impossible headache

I have sent out email after email with cover letters and resumes. I have made phone calls and stared at craigslist until my eyes glaze over. I don't know what I'm going to do. I cannot NOT have a job. Money is tight, and I really can't survive here without finding some source of income. I really wish money grew on trees sometimes... or I found a sugar daddy who just wanted to give me money and I wouldn't have to do "favors" for him. I'm praying for patience as I keep searching. Maybe something amazing will finally hit me... I hope.

Mantra: Breathe, have patience, don't panic

Settling In

I am happy to say that I am essentially unpacked (except for a few random boxes I still don't know what to do with). My room is complete and the apartment has furniture. It's starting to look more like a place to live rather than a concrete box.

My only real goal before school starts is to find a job. I desperately need one with tuition payments and rent due soon. I get scared when I know there is no income coming into my bank account; there's only money going out. I've sent out resume after resume, cover letter after cover letter, email after email. We'll see what happens. I hope to find something soon!

I really think I'm going to like it here. The Boston Common and Public Gardens are amazing. The city itself is great; I love just walking around with my iPod on and building/people watching. As scary as I thought my neighborhood was when I first moved here, I don't feel as nervous about it anymore. Now it's just something I'm getting used to. The only annoying part is the honking ouside my bedroom window at all hours of the day and random (drunk or mentally challenged, I can never tell) people screaming outside about something. I like to peek across the street into these amazing loft condos. The people never close their blinds and their lofts look amazingly nice. I wish I had money to live there. I have been making Chinese food for myself and it's really nice to know that once I run out, I'll have the Chinese grocery store right around the corner to shop at. No matter how long I'm here for, I know I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts (and let's hope it's not too long).

A new place not yet called Home

So here I am. On the East Coast. Over 1000 miles from Wisconsin. I am sitting on my new bed (aka another futon) in a pretty empty apartment with all my boxes of stuff lined against the living room wall. There is no other furniture except a table that will serve as my desk and a desk chair. My roommate has not yet arrived; she's supposed to get here sometime tonight. I have been sleeping in the living room since my family left Sunday. Our apartment building allows pets, and I've seen quite a few dogs being walked in and out of the building. They bark sometimes. It hasn't been a huge issue yet... but will it? Who knows?

It's been pretty lonely here, since I don't know anyone. I know that will all change once classes start and if I find a job, but right now life is pretty boring. I take walks around the city during the day and sit at home, watching movies on my computer at night. I watched one complete season of One Tree Hill and discovered problems with a DVD of another season. Other than that, I have nothing unique to say. I am a very silly, extremely stupid girl who has moved to this big city, supposedly to pursue her career. We will see how this goes. We will see.

Moving is oh so NOT fun

I have been in Boston for about 2 days now. My roommate doesn't arrive until next week Wednesday. Thus far everything is still in boxes. The rooms are very different sizes- one is twice as big as the other. My roommate and I had not discussed this possibility, so now I wait for her to arrive before completely unpacking. It'll consist of me sitting on the floor for a while, but that's okay. The apartment itself is pretty good (other than the bedroom issues). I think I'll be able to thoroughly enjoy it after I'm all moved in. Being with my family 24/7 is a little taxing too... Haven't spoken to many of my friends back home and listening to small children playing/complaining/snoring is not very high on my list of things I find socially fun.

Well, I'm sitting in a cafe using the internet because we don't have internet set up in the apartment yet, but when I do, I'll try to post at least one picture of the apartment. And now I should head home. My relatives are driving up from Jersey to meet us and to introduce us to the other side of their family who live in Boston.

Until next time...

See you later

I am right about to leave on my 1.5 day drive out to the East Coast. Saying good-bye is really hard to do. But I know that this place in Wisconsin will always be considered home. It's like a home base... my roots. So the next time I blog, I will be blogging from New England!!!

Good-Bye Wisconsin!

A Mantra for Moving

I have realized that I have accumulated so much stuff the past four years... it's insane. I don't know how I will get everything I want out to the East Coast. All the stuff sitting in my parents' garage right now has led me to think about big of a consumer society we live in. No matter how I try, I always seem to end up with more possessions. Now that I am starting my nomadic lifestyle, consisting of not knowing how long I will stay in one location (although it may be dictated by my apartment leases, but even then...), I really want to minimize all my "stuff." But at the same time, there are things I'm unwilling to just give up easily. For example: the picture I bought at Art Fair On The Square this year, the picture I took of the Nile Rive at sunrise last summer that is nicely framed, 2 ceramic bowls that I love. So do you let go of possessions you love and do these possessions REALLY matter? The answer, of course, is yes, you can let go of those possessions and they really don't matter in the end. It's just hard. But my new goal IS to rid myself of my habits of hoarding everything, keeping everything, and wanting everything. Less is better. I really need to start living by that statement if I want to prevent myself from going broke due to shipping all my stuff everywhere.

So... new mantra: LESS IS BETTER.

Leaving... not on a jet plane...

It is finally hitting me that I am leaving Madison officially with no idea if I'll ever be back. Tomorrow is my very last day. This is really hard to deal with. I love this place, this city, this school, the streets, even the construction, the bars, the people... all the memories that have been created here. I am really going to miss it. A lot. Nostalgia has set in. It's also very difficult saying good-bye to all the friends that I have made here. The people here are why I love Madison the most. I have met some of the most wonderful friends here, and I will miss them constantly.

Highlights:

Freshman Year

• Drinking for the first time
• Running across campus drunk
• Knowing I had new friends who would take care of me, no matter what mess I got myself into (There were a lot of them)
• Meeting the girls, the boys, the people who would touch my life for the next 4 years
• Going to my first Badger football and hockey game

Sophomore Year

• Having an awesome roommate with our weekend hangover mornings on the futon, watching One Tree Hill... promising never to drink again. Only to repeat the same thing the following weekend
• Hosting a few crazy parties
• Watching friends get themselves in trouble
• My awesome light-up heels
• The car accident

Junior Year

• First official apartment: complete with accidentally breaking a window with a newspaper when trying to kill a bee, squirrels in the walls and floorboards, fun roommates, no TV
• Making Thanksgiving dinner for friends
• Beer pong
• Being the most hungover I had ever been in my entire life
• Turning 21
• Figuring myself and what I wanted to do next in life

Senior Year

• My Own Room
• Going out with a bang, bloopers and all
• Finding out way more about close friends than I ever wanted to know
• Learning even more about myself than I ever though possible and finding that inner confidence that is necessary to stand on my own 2 feet
• Enjoying my last year in Madison
• GRADUATION

Madison, it has been amazing. I thank you for everything I have learned and experienced here. I have more stories than I ever thought necessary thus far in my life, but I enjoy every one of them. I will miss it all!!!

Truth

My thought of the day:

I find life full of surprises, good and bad, but never clean. It always comes dirty. Twists and turns everywhere. Everything becomes convoluted. Then in the end, what is the truth? Can you believe everything someone tells you, anything he or she tells you? Do they even know the truth of what they're trying to tell you? As well as you may think you know yourself, I don't believe that everything you say is truth... completely valid. Maybe you think it's true at the time, but it might not end up being true in the end.

Realizing the truth has been a theme in my life. The things people try to hide from each other, the lies that are told, the subjects people avoid discussing or try to cover up... It all ends up hurting someone. If there is one thing in life that is always true, it is that someone will always get hurt. There is just no way to avoid that. Thus the pain, the hurt- it is a universal theme that should connect everyone in the world. We should be able to share this commonality... but we don't. The hurt usually just alienates us more. Pulls us away from friendships, relationships, the ability to trust, the ability to live without feeling disillusioned.

A Chapter In My Life Is Coming To An End

Sometimes I can’t help but marvel. After 4 years of college, I am still working a job that could be done by a robot. I am essentially an office worker bee. Can I just say it’s frustrating and boring me to tears? I’m pretty sure I have more brain cells, brain power, and overall intelligence to do something more than type information into a database, sort and send out mail, and do mundane tasks that my boss doesn’t feel like doing on her own. I have to keep telling myself: 3 more weeks until it’s over. BUT it is some good experience- letters of rec, you know? And it’s true; I have 3 more weeks until I move out of my apartment. I’m going to move to my parents’ home for a little less than a week and then I’m leaving the Midwest!! The knowledge that I’m moving away from the only state I’ve ever considered home has been slowly sinking in, but I don’t think it has fully hit me yet. Maybe once I’m actually moved into my new apartment (which I’m paying a horrifying amount of money for), it’ll hit me. And knowing myself, it’ll probably hit me on the head with the same feeling as if a sledgehammer landed on me. Then I’ll probably finally figure it out that I’m officially moving on to a new chapter of my life, one I will title: Grad School.

In life, most of us have the standard chapters: Elementary School, Middle School, High School, and College. After college though, everyone’s chapters start to differ. Actually people’s chapters usually start to change after high school, but for generalization purposes, I’ll say college (of any sort). After graduating college, some people go on to join the workforce, others take a year off from school before returning again (working, running around the world, or just relaxing for a while), while still others jump right into more school. I would fit into the last category. I can’t say I’m completely happy with this decision, but it is a means to an end. I would love to take some time off, travel and learn different things that aren’t always taught within the confined 4 walls of a classroom. But I’m still not stepping outside the boundaries set by… oh let’s say, my parents… quite yet. They seem to have this idea that right after college, I should go to grad school in order to keep the momentum going. After a long of thinking about it, I decided not to fight them. It wasn’t worth it. (If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my family and how to deal with them, I know when it’s smarter and easier to just not start the fight.) Plus, I knew what I wanted to go to grad school for and they would be willing to help me out a little financially. Thus I will be attending grad school in the fall. The one decision I made for myself was to leave the comfort zone of the familiar Midwest. I decided to spread my wings a little and try living somewhere completely new for a while. Maybe I’ll love it, maybe I’ll hate it, but at least I’ll be able to look back and say I tried it.

We’ll have to see what I have to say after a month of classes- maybe I will be freaking out and will look back on this post and say, “Psh, biggest mistake ever.” Or I could possible say, “I love it here! Best decision ever.” Guess I’ll have to wait and see.

A funeral and a sunburn

I went to my roommate's dad's funeral last weekend, and it was really sad. My roommate went up and read something her and her siblings wrote at the service. She read it beautifully, and I was proud of her. I don't think I would have been able to do as well as she did. The funeral made me think about life and death again. I know we all need to value every single day and the people we have in our life. My thoughts are still with my roommate and her family.

Currently I am burnt... burnt burnt burnt, but it was well worth it. I spent four hours (prime sun time 10am-2pm) yesterday at a huge art fair without any sunscreen. Ouch... but I found some of the coolest stuff. I bought a photograph of these old books, which will go above my desk at my new apartment (once it's framed). I also got a sterling silver ring and a pair of earrings. Finally, my final purchase was a deep blue-green colored bowl. It's gorgeous. I'm so happy with everything I bought. The downsides to all this is my colorful burn and my poor bank account. So I am now icing my very burnt chest and shoulders.

No Doubt Concert!

I went to Summerfest for the first time EVER yesterday and it was great. 2 of my friends and I saw the No Doubt Concert, and it was awesome. I have to say, the money spent on those concert tickets were well worth it. We had decent seats and No Doubt was great.

Bedouin Soundclash played first. I had never heard of them before but I liked them. Very appropriate opener. Then Paramore came on (The top picture). Now they were fun! Lots of head banging- I liked how the guitarists head banged in sync. Hayley Williams has a great voice. Finally No Doubt came out. They were great live entertainment. You know, there are the bands and musicians who have great music but don't always put on a great show. No, this was not one of those cases. It was AWESOME!!! Adrian Young, the drummer, played wearing only his underwear. I wonder if that helps him stay cool on stage. Gwen Stefani was amazing. She has a great body, even after have 2 kids! All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I'd definitely see them in concert again.

Life is Precious

Today my heart pauses. And it goes out to my roommate. Her dad is dying in the hospital, and it was completely unexpected. He'll probably be gone tomorrow morning. My eyes ache with tears that haven't fallen yet. I try to put myself in my roommate's shoes and imagine that it is my dad in the hospital. But I have no idea how I would feel, what I would be thinking, what I would do, if I would want people around me, if I would just want to scream or be mute forever. I cannot imagine the pain. I have never had anyone in my family die, so I feel helpless, unable to relate completely, providing as much empathy as I can from miles away. I wish I had the right words to say and to comfort her. I want to read her mind, so that I can do exactly what she needs without her asking.

Everything that has happened makes me reflect. Life is so short, so valuable, so precious. It can end in a split second, disappearing forever, and I don't think I always appreciate it to the fullest. I think I need to say "I love you" to my family more and make my actions count more. Life has so much meaning,but do we always live it to its fullest potential? I don't think so. We take it for granted a lot, but today was a reminder not to. To love more. To do more. To live completely. Who knows what will happen tomorrow to anyone? This is a good reminder for me to really be thankful for everyone and everything in my life.

Initiation into the blogging

I have finally made the blog I have been planning (procrastinating) for months. I have to admit, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I need to learn to speak computerish… computerian… computerese… the language of the computers, whatever that’s called. But I think I like this background and the overall blog. My habit of indecisiveness will probably make me change it again at some point. But this is it for now. So I guess all I have to say at the moment is: Hello Blog World!