WELCOME TO AFRICA

Hello bombing and chaos. Things are crazy here. It is such a tragedy and my heart goes out to all those families who lost people in the bombing. I'm a little at a loss of what to do. I'm just sitting in the office, listening to the country director of my org on the phone. Pretty helpless.

I had posts made up in my head for the blog and was going to write once I had internet access... but now I really have nothing to say...

Here's a side note, I cut all my hair off for locks of love. Bye bye hair!!! It's a very bizarre feeling. My hair hasn't been this short since before freshman year!!! If the internet weren't so slow, I'd upload a pic.

Decision-making is not my forte right now

I was soooooooooooooooo sure my decision was made. Well, at least 95%. The decision was the Philippines. That's where I would go. And finish my degree. Do school and intern.

Now? Not so sure. I got my proposed scope of work for Uganda (because I hadn't totally told them I wasn't doing that program) and the SOW is fantastic. Exactly what I want experience in. Ughh... what do I do? I cannot seem to make a choice and stick with it. This wishy-washy-ness is becoming a serious problem. I don't like it. So PICK SOMETHING and stick with it!! Or at least that's what i keep telling myself. So I lay here, feeling like a complete crazy person. Perfect.

Uganda vs Philippines...
Work experience vs finishing school/internship...
A place I've been and love vs somewhere brand new...
No running water or electricity vs most of the time, big city living in a developing country...
No money vs no money... oh wait, that's the same thing...

Being Zen

There's something to be said about accepting the way things are. Being happy with it. And just relaxing. Letting things flow and taking the zen attitude. So this is me: being zen

Boring

Basically I'm boring. I go to class, I read, I go to the gym. Thaaat's about it. There's not much to say. Never knew I could be a semi-hermit. But now I know. It's very possible. I am mostly back in the grad school groove, but I don't have a social life. Boston has not been as interesting as many people have made it out to sound, but that could also be due to the fact that I have no money to spend on fun.

That's all for now

A funeral and a sunburn

I went to my roommate's dad's funeral last weekend, and it was really sad. My roommate went up and read something her and her siblings wrote at the service. She read it beautifully, and I was proud of her. I don't think I would have been able to do as well as she did. The funeral made me think about life and death again. I know we all need to value every single day and the people we have in our life. My thoughts are still with my roommate and her family.

Currently I am burnt... burnt burnt burnt, but it was well worth it. I spent four hours (prime sun time 10am-2pm) yesterday at a huge art fair without any sunscreen. Ouch... but I found some of the coolest stuff. I bought a photograph of these old books, which will go above my desk at my new apartment (once it's framed). I also got a sterling silver ring and a pair of earrings. Finally, my final purchase was a deep blue-green colored bowl. It's gorgeous. I'm so happy with everything I bought. The downsides to all this is my colorful burn and my poor bank account. So I am now icing my very burnt chest and shoulders.

Life is Precious

Today my heart pauses. And it goes out to my roommate. Her dad is dying in the hospital, and it was completely unexpected. He'll probably be gone tomorrow morning. My eyes ache with tears that haven't fallen yet. I try to put myself in my roommate's shoes and imagine that it is my dad in the hospital. But I have no idea how I would feel, what I would be thinking, what I would do, if I would want people around me, if I would just want to scream or be mute forever. I cannot imagine the pain. I have never had anyone in my family die, so I feel helpless, unable to relate completely, providing as much empathy as I can from miles away. I wish I had the right words to say and to comfort her. I want to read her mind, so that I can do exactly what she needs without her asking.

Everything that has happened makes me reflect. Life is so short, so valuable, so precious. It can end in a split second, disappearing forever, and I don't think I always appreciate it to the fullest. I think I need to say "I love you" to my family more and make my actions count more. Life has so much meaning,but do we always live it to its fullest potential? I don't think so. We take it for granted a lot, but today was a reminder not to. To love more. To do more. To live completely. Who knows what will happen tomorrow to anyone? This is a good reminder for me to really be thankful for everyone and everything in my life.