I love Africa. Maybe this is too big of a blanket statement. But I do. I step outside, take a deep breath, and Ahhhhh there's the smell. That distinct Africa smell. I can't explain what it is. But I love it. Even at my lowest points when I'm here, I still love it. Deep inside.
That being said, Hello! I write from a different continent in a different time zone. I have nothing special to report. I haven't started work yet so really there's nothing unique to say.
All I have to say is this: you are not allowed to complain about being here until you have been here at least a month. You have to embrace the situation and understand that this is not Amurica. Things work differently here and yes, things do not always work the way you wish or want. But this is the way things work here. And yes, maybe you didn't sign up to live in a hut in Africa. But you have to understand that your life is 1000x better than many of those around you and you may not have as many amenities as you would back at home at your disposable. Welcome To Africa. Accept it/ suck it up or please leave.
Showing posts with label frustrated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustrated. Show all posts
Monday, October 3, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Give me the BC
Best birth control ever - have teenage children in the house. For a month. And have them play piano and do Chinese homework on top of regular school homework. We'll see how much you want kids after that. Attitudes running wild. NO THANK YOU.
I thought babies and toddlers in their terrible 2s were bad. Noooooooooooooooo. Teenagers. Crazy, hormonal, psychotic, attitude filled, back-talking, wild creatures.
So tie those tubes, pop those pills, pull and pray, do it in the back door, put on the latex raincoat. Just please please please- NO BABIES.
I thought babies and toddlers in their terrible 2s were bad. Noooooooooooooooo. Teenagers. Crazy, hormonal, psychotic, attitude filled, back-talking, wild creatures.
So tie those tubes, pop those pills, pull and pray, do it in the back door, put on the latex raincoat. Just please please please- NO BABIES.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Job Searching
It's like beating a dead horse. Or actually it's what I called beating a dead cat. Why I say cat, you ask? I have no idea. I DID see a dead bird on the street today. Which is probably why I thought of a cat, since cats like to attack birds... yes, don't worry, I haven't totally lost my mind yet. I don't think.
This is what I do:
Over and over. Look up jobs. Tweek cover letter. Submit resume. Rinse. Repeat. Until you want to commit suicide. Then rinse and repeat again.
... I need a job...
In other news, I have a boyfriend. He's great. I'll spare you the morbid, gross details, but he's way too sweet for me. I'm all scary and messed up. He's all happy with hugs or at least when it comes to dealing with me. I have problems...
Also, here's the thing. If you're going to cheat on your boyfriend (not saying I AM, just general advice), HAVE SEX. If you're going to cheat emotionally, that's just boring and stupid. If you're GOING to cheat, just go all out. It's easier for everyone. You don't have do the whole talk about how you didn't do anything but yet you had feelings for some other boy. Blah blah blah.
But if you're going to cheat, always remember: karma has a nasty way of sneaking back up and biting you in the rear end. Really really hard.
That's all.
This is what I do:
Over and over. Look up jobs. Tweek cover letter. Submit resume. Rinse. Repeat. Until you want to commit suicide. Then rinse and repeat again.
... I need a job...
In other news, I have a boyfriend. He's great. I'll spare you the morbid, gross details, but he's way too sweet for me. I'm all scary and messed up. He's all happy with hugs or at least when it comes to dealing with me. I have problems...
Also, here's the thing. If you're going to cheat on your boyfriend (not saying I AM, just general advice), HAVE SEX. If you're going to cheat emotionally, that's just boring and stupid. If you're GOING to cheat, just go all out. It's easier for everyone. You don't have do the whole talk about how you didn't do anything but yet you had feelings for some other boy. Blah blah blah.
But if you're going to cheat, always remember: karma has a nasty way of sneaking back up and biting you in the rear end. Really really hard.
That's all.
Monday, October 18, 2010
(*#$&@#(*$&)@#&#$!*
I love being here. Aside from becoming a slight hypochondriac and probably just becoming crazy, I really have no issues. Except one. I dream regularly about the same thing. And with the Mefloquine, it seems so much more vivid and real. I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm really losing my mind. And I just don't understand why I keep dreaming about this. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? And if it is, what on earth is it trying to tell me? I really hate it and am thinking about finding a witch doctor to help me out with an exorcism. Or I just need to get amnesia...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Almost 2 months in Uganda, A Recap
I've been here almost 2 months and I thought it might be time for some reflection so here goes:
First time trying sugar cane
First time seeing and accidentally killing a praying mantis
Trips to Kampala: 3
Times I've gotten lost in Kampala: 2
Times I wish I was somewhere else: let's not keep count
Don't get me wrong, I love Uganda. The people here are incredible, and it's so interesting to learn about someone else's culture and way of life. There are a few things I dislike about this place, including: packing 5 people in the back of a compact car to drive 2 hours, the roads, the traffic, and on occassion, the lack of greasy American food.
I love rain and rain in Uganda is awesome. Last night it poured and I just sat outside my room, in the rain, and enjoyed feeling it on my face, drenching me. It's incredibly refreshing. So HELLO RAINY SEASON!
First time trying sugar cane
First time seeing and accidentally killing a praying mantis
Trips to Kampala: 3
Times I've gotten lost in Kampala: 2
Times I wish I was somewhere else: let's not keep count
Don't get me wrong, I love Uganda. The people here are incredible, and it's so interesting to learn about someone else's culture and way of life. There are a few things I dislike about this place, including: packing 5 people in the back of a compact car to drive 2 hours, the roads, the traffic, and on occassion, the lack of greasy American food.
I love rain and rain in Uganda is awesome. Last night it poured and I just sat outside my room, in the rain, and enjoyed feeling it on my face, drenching me. It's incredibly refreshing. So HELLO RAINY SEASON!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Headaches- African Style
I love Uganda. I'd just like to preface this post by saying that. I love it here and it's a great experience. But at the same time-
Culture eats everything else for lunch.
And it can really eat at my nerves sometimes. Getting work done is like moving in slow motion, dragging through molasses. Our Western style of doing things only goes so far. And when you're trying to meet certain objectives by American funders... let's just say it gets hairy.
Culture eats everything else for lunch.
And it can really eat at my nerves sometimes. Getting work done is like moving in slow motion, dragging through molasses. Our Western style of doing things only goes so far. And when you're trying to meet certain objectives by American funders... let's just say it gets hairy.
Monday, August 2, 2010
I enjoy Crystal Light
The title of this post has nothing to do with anything else that's written, but it is a new observation I have. Crystal light is yummy.
Getting a tan by the pool (along with several Nile Special beers) at the Sheraton Hotel in Kampala was outstanding. But afterwards, I saw the effects of my crappy sunscreen application. Oops! The army guys we met at the pool were really fun and nice to hang out with. One was rather good-looking aka extremely and had awesome tattoos, but I was disappointed to discover later that he is married.
In the US, we're taught that time is money. In Uganda, more people means more money. So taxi rides are inevitably always late and cramped. Plus, it's one thing to stuff average sized people together. When you have individuals who are larger than normal, you'd think people would consider that in the "stuffing people into vehicles" situation. They don't.
I have this fascinating itchy rash/ a bunch of small bumps on the bottom of both of my feet, in the exact same spot. Medical people- help? I've eliminated athlete's foot; definitely isn't that. I'm kind of hoping it will go away on its own since it would be rather difficult to locate a doctor out here and I don't want to make a trip into Kampala to solely find a doctor. FML.
Getting a tan by the pool (along with several Nile Special beers) at the Sheraton Hotel in Kampala was outstanding. But afterwards, I saw the effects of my crappy sunscreen application. Oops! The army guys we met at the pool were really fun and nice to hang out with. One was rather good-looking aka extremely and had awesome tattoos, but I was disappointed to discover later that he is married.
In the US, we're taught that time is money. In Uganda, more people means more money. So taxi rides are inevitably always late and cramped. Plus, it's one thing to stuff average sized people together. When you have individuals who are larger than normal, you'd think people would consider that in the "stuffing people into vehicles" situation. They don't.
I have this fascinating itchy rash/ a bunch of small bumps on the bottom of both of my feet, in the exact same spot. Medical people- help? I've eliminated athlete's foot; definitely isn't that. I'm kind of hoping it will go away on its own since it would be rather difficult to locate a doctor out here and I don't want to make a trip into Kampala to solely find a doctor. FML.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Ugandan Issues
(Written July 22) Uganda is amazing, and I love it here. My only current issues are: bathroom use and the fact that matoke can only be eaten day after day a certain number of times.
To tackle the first issue, I’m slightly terrified to use the pit latrine for the reason that I’m petrified that I’ll miss the hole. Given, the hole is rather large and it’s not like I’m blind so I can spot myself. BUT still. And here’s the other thing, after you’ve gotten used to the porcelain throne, squatting to do your business is rather difficult. That is the one thing Americans don’t do, but the Ugandans do all the time: squat. Squat to peel plantains, squat to go to the bathroom, squat to bathe, children squat all the time. For me, after squatting for a while, my feet feel achy, my calves start to tingle, it’s not exactly the most comfortable position. But now that it’s Day 2 in Ssembabule, I’m getting a little more accustomed to it. One of my greatest fears in the world: falling into a pit latrine. You know, Slumdog Millionaire style, except that kid jumped. Just the idea gives me the heebeejeebies.
As for issue two, it is what the Ugandans call “green bananas.” As for the bananas we’re used to snacking on, those are called sweet bananas. Green bananas aren’t sweet and they are, obviously, green in color. In other words, they are plantains. One of the staples of the Ugandan diet is boiled/steamed and mushed bananas. Matoke. It really has no flavor and is always paired with meat, vegetables and/or g-nut sauce. To make it, you peel a bunch of green bananas, stick it in a pot, throw in some water, and boil. Tada. Eventually the bananas get soft, turn yellow, and get mushed together. It’s rather dense, so I can only ever eat so much. It’s pretty good. I just don’t exactly love it as a meal everyday.
Children look at me and either smile and wave OR they just stare. The young ones especially stare. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure this little girl was about to cry. The ladies around me were laughing, telling me she has never seen anyone so pale. Since I’m in such a remote area (the words of Ugandans, not me), I am one of not very many foreigners. I hear there’s one Peace Corps volunteer that works here, but I haven’t seen her yet. I haven’t seen any mzungus for 2 days now.
Well, off I go to start a day of work (this was written on my computer early in the morning but posted later). Next time you go to the bathroom, be thankful that your toilet flushes.
To tackle the first issue, I’m slightly terrified to use the pit latrine for the reason that I’m petrified that I’ll miss the hole. Given, the hole is rather large and it’s not like I’m blind so I can spot myself. BUT still. And here’s the other thing, after you’ve gotten used to the porcelain throne, squatting to do your business is rather difficult. That is the one thing Americans don’t do, but the Ugandans do all the time: squat. Squat to peel plantains, squat to go to the bathroom, squat to bathe, children squat all the time. For me, after squatting for a while, my feet feel achy, my calves start to tingle, it’s not exactly the most comfortable position. But now that it’s Day 2 in Ssembabule, I’m getting a little more accustomed to it. One of my greatest fears in the world: falling into a pit latrine. You know, Slumdog Millionaire style, except that kid jumped. Just the idea gives me the heebeejeebies.
As for issue two, it is what the Ugandans call “green bananas.” As for the bananas we’re used to snacking on, those are called sweet bananas. Green bananas aren’t sweet and they are, obviously, green in color. In other words, they are plantains. One of the staples of the Ugandan diet is boiled/steamed and mushed bananas. Matoke. It really has no flavor and is always paired with meat, vegetables and/or g-nut sauce. To make it, you peel a bunch of green bananas, stick it in a pot, throw in some water, and boil. Tada. Eventually the bananas get soft, turn yellow, and get mushed together. It’s rather dense, so I can only ever eat so much. It’s pretty good. I just don’t exactly love it as a meal everyday.
Children look at me and either smile and wave OR they just stare. The young ones especially stare. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure this little girl was about to cry. The ladies around me were laughing, telling me she has never seen anyone so pale. Since I’m in such a remote area (the words of Ugandans, not me), I am one of not very many foreigners. I hear there’s one Peace Corps volunteer that works here, but I haven’t seen her yet. I haven’t seen any mzungus for 2 days now.
Well, off I go to start a day of work (this was written on my computer early in the morning but posted later). Next time you go to the bathroom, be thankful that your toilet flushes.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Bye Bye Boston
Well guys, I'm officially not a resident of Boston anymore. For now. I moved home today. 17 hours in a vehicle and bang, I'm back in Wisconsin, laying in my twin bunk bed. I do love this bed. I've had it since I was a very small person. I looked back at my posts about moving out to Boston and realized I have the same philosophy as I did when I moved before: Less is More. Obviously I didn't learn that. And obviously I have way too much junk. It's currently all sitting in the garage. I will have to go through it all tomorrow... aka today... I'm definitely dreading that task.
Sad/frustrating news: a bag of mine got crushed in the packing of the van. A bag that should not be crushed. It now has permanent wrinkles and will never be the same. I'm so sad.
I miss the people who touched my life in Boston already. Sigh.
Uganda... 1 week... Lift off will occur Thursday, July 8th. I have so much to do before I leave!!! I feel like I should make an Africa blog. So many people do it. I might as well follow the trend. I'm thinking: travel blog for anyone interested and keeping this one for random brain ramblings.
Okay, my brain is failing right now so I'm signing off.
Sad/frustrating news: a bag of mine got crushed in the packing of the van. A bag that should not be crushed. It now has permanent wrinkles and will never be the same. I'm so sad.
I miss the people who touched my life in Boston already. Sigh.
Uganda... 1 week... Lift off will occur Thursday, July 8th. I have so much to do before I leave!!! I feel like I should make an Africa blog. So many people do it. I might as well follow the trend. I'm thinking: travel blog for anyone interested and keeping this one for random brain ramblings.
Okay, my brain is failing right now so I'm signing off.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Decision-making is not my forte right now
I was soooooooooooooooo sure my decision was made. Well, at least 95%. The decision was the Philippines. That's where I would go. And finish my degree. Do school and intern.
Now? Not so sure. I got my proposed scope of work for Uganda (because I hadn't totally told them I wasn't doing that program) and the SOW is fantastic. Exactly what I want experience in. Ughh... what do I do? I cannot seem to make a choice and stick with it. This wishy-washy-ness is becoming a serious problem. I don't like it. So PICK SOMETHING and stick with it!! Or at least that's what i keep telling myself. So I lay here, feeling like a complete crazy person. Perfect.
Uganda vs Philippines...
Work experience vs finishing school/internship...
A place I've been and love vs somewhere brand new...
No running water or electricity vs most of the time, big city living in a developing country...
No money vs no money... oh wait, that's the same thing...
Now? Not so sure. I got my proposed scope of work for Uganda (because I hadn't totally told them I wasn't doing that program) and the SOW is fantastic. Exactly what I want experience in. Ughh... what do I do? I cannot seem to make a choice and stick with it. This wishy-washy-ness is becoming a serious problem. I don't like it. So PICK SOMETHING and stick with it!! Or at least that's what i keep telling myself. So I lay here, feeling like a complete crazy person. Perfect.
Uganda vs Philippines...
Work experience vs finishing school/internship...
A place I've been and love vs somewhere brand new...
No running water or electricity vs most of the time, big city living in a developing country...
No money vs no money... oh wait, that's the same thing...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I'm taking a poll
What should I do? Where should I go?
PS I can count to 10 in 5 languages now... I think that's as far as it goes though. Arabic, Chinese, English, Spanish, Tagalog.
- Philippines
- China
- Uganda
PS I can count to 10 in 5 languages now... I think that's as far as it goes though. Arabic, Chinese, English, Spanish, Tagalog.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Dark Cloud Over My Head
Sometimes I hate reality. Real life. Being alive, having feelings, thinking thoughts. And today is one of those days. If I could just stop thinking, forget everything, and just disappear, I'd be really happy for a while.
I really need a destressor. And right now, I don't have one.
I really need a destressor. And right now, I don't have one.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Stomach flu
Turns out, my sickness lasted until yesterday. And it wasn't just from being hungover. Nope, I had the stomach flu. Ohhhh yummy gastroenteritis. Most miserable thing I've experienced in a while. I haven't eaten real food in 5 days... I miss it so much. I've eaten toast, saltines, Gatorade, and water. Yes, super healthy diet. Makes me light-headed and slightly crankier than the average me. And my body is exhausted.
Which leads to my next thought. Boys are jerks. Most are at least. I'm sorry if you're reading this and you're male. But sometimes, oftentimes, most of the time, the whole lot of you are jerks and denser than a black hole.
That's all I have for now, give me a break, I'm a recovering sick person
Which leads to my next thought. Boys are jerks. Most are at least. I'm sorry if you're reading this and you're male. But sometimes, oftentimes, most of the time, the whole lot of you are jerks and denser than a black hole.
That's all I have for now, give me a break, I'm a recovering sick person
Monday, November 16, 2009
Check... Reality check, that is
I'm really starting to hate growing up. It's mostly just painful and and overall shitty experience. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Gag me. I'm starting to hate it, but I know it's necessary. Life is less than fairy tale. Depressing depressing depressing... it's like I'm a broken record. Stupid little girl, right? Yea, I agree with you. Don't worry. I'm working on it.
I now have a job. Well, I haven't started it yet. But I have one! Actually... I potentially have like 4. I have to figure out how to reject one or a few. 3 months of trying and I finally have potential to have an income. You have no idea how nice that is. I'm really tired of sitting around on my ass, only doing school, and watching my bank account shrink.Yippee!
I now have a job. Well, I haven't started it yet. But I have one! Actually... I potentially have like 4. I have to figure out how to reject one or a few. 3 months of trying and I finally have potential to have an income. You have no idea how nice that is. I'm really tired of sitting around on my ass, only doing school, and watching my bank account shrink.Yippee!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Stress and Sh*t
My life has become a sort of rolling stress bubble. What does not disappear becomes rolled into my giant sticky ball of stress. Imagine a huge bubble ball rolling down the brick sidewalk/road of New England with me walking inside of it like a hamster inside of its ball. WITH all these stressful things jiggling around inside the ball with me. So welcome to my world.
I hate getting sick. Especially during the school year because then I don't want to do any work, but I have to. The pressure in my sinuses is so bad and my head feels like it's a huge balloon. This is just not cool. Problem is: I have a big paper due... oh TOMORROW. I have like 1 page written. Needs to be 6. We'll see how this goes. Also because there are more important things to be doing in life right now. Like what you ask? Oh... let's see:
blogging- which is what I'm doing right now.
Vampire Diaries- yes I'm getting sucked into a show about Vampires. Yes, I still hate Twilight. I think I only like this show due to the music they play throughout it. Anyway, judge me. It's okay, I do it all the time.
Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice- new episodes tonight, I will not miss them. Grey's Anatomy has seriously got to stop firing people or else I'm giving up watching it like I did back in seasons 3 and 4 and most of 5.
SLEEPING- my head hurts, I'm tired. I look like crap. Yes, I just want to go to bed.
Curse the sickness. It's going to kill me, I swear. Stupid HIV... if only you didn't exist. Then I wouldn't have to write all these freaking papers about you. Stupid stupid virus.
I hate getting sick. Especially during the school year because then I don't want to do any work, but I have to. The pressure in my sinuses is so bad and my head feels like it's a huge balloon. This is just not cool. Problem is: I have a big paper due... oh TOMORROW. I have like 1 page written. Needs to be 6. We'll see how this goes. Also because there are more important things to be doing in life right now. Like what you ask? Oh... let's see:
blogging- which is what I'm doing right now.
Vampire Diaries- yes I'm getting sucked into a show about Vampires. Yes, I still hate Twilight. I think I only like this show due to the music they play throughout it. Anyway, judge me. It's okay, I do it all the time.
Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice- new episodes tonight, I will not miss them. Grey's Anatomy has seriously got to stop firing people or else I'm giving up watching it like I did back in seasons 3 and 4 and most of 5.
SLEEPING- my head hurts, I'm tired. I look like crap. Yes, I just want to go to bed.
Curse the sickness. It's going to kill me, I swear. Stupid HIV... if only you didn't exist. Then I wouldn't have to write all these freaking papers about you. Stupid stupid virus.
Friday, October 2, 2009
This one's a little... depressing?
Have no fear, J, you are still not good enough to get hired for a job. We are delighted to have you read rejection email number 27 that says: "you had a great resume and interview, but you aren't good enough for us to want to hire you." Ding ding ding!
This really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To the point where I have been completely unproductive this afternoon. Rather than writing the paper that I need to, I have been sleeping to avoid listening to my brain. Though it is only 5ish, I kind of want to drink myself into a stupor and pass out forever. You know, it's one thing to have friends you can hang out with, who will give you a hug when you're having a bad day, and who will sit and sympathize with you (by drinking your sorrows away). It's another to do it by yourself. It's really depressing. I'm depressing... I'm starting to hate myself for this depressing funk I'm in. Too bad I don't know to fix it... other than trying some drugs... Coke or heroin, anyone???
This really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To the point where I have been completely unproductive this afternoon. Rather than writing the paper that I need to, I have been sleeping to avoid listening to my brain. Though it is only 5ish, I kind of want to drink myself into a stupor and pass out forever. You know, it's one thing to have friends you can hang out with, who will give you a hug when you're having a bad day, and who will sit and sympathize with you (by drinking your sorrows away). It's another to do it by yourself. It's really depressing. I'm depressing... I'm starting to hate myself for this depressing funk I'm in. Too bad I don't know to fix it... other than trying some drugs... Coke or heroin, anyone???
Monday, September 28, 2009
Failure
I would like to put in an order for a new brain. I CANNOT WRITE THE PAPERS I NEED TO GET DONE FOR CLASS!!! Right now I am staring at one Microsoft Word Document and it says:
"I don't know what my thesis is. I don't know what to write, FUCK!" And that's just for one class. The other papers are completely blank. Ugh! I feel completely incompetent. Maybe now I should just realize that I am going to completely fail grad school.
F#$@! Sh%$! Godd&^*#@! F^%$! F&*&! Big fat F@#%!
Calling all friends, any friends I have who love me: please come get me and take me home. P.L.E.A.S.E.
"I don't know what my thesis is. I don't know what to write, FUCK!" And that's just for one class. The other papers are completely blank. Ugh! I feel completely incompetent. Maybe now I should just realize that I am going to completely fail grad school.
F#$@! Sh%$! Godd&^*#@! F^%$! F&*&! Big fat F@#%!
Calling all friends, any friends I have who love me: please come get me and take me home. P.L.E.A.S.E.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Boring
Basically I'm boring. I go to class, I read, I go to the gym. Thaaat's about it. There's not much to say. Never knew I could be a semi-hermit. But now I know. It's very possible. I am mostly back in the grad school groove, but I don't have a social life. Boston has not been as interesting as many people have made it out to sound, but that could also be due to the fact that I have no money to spend on fun.
That's all for now
That's all for now
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I have a stain
I would like to announce that the worrying I had been doing before has not abated. The only way I've been getting away from it is ignoring it, which is harder than you would think. It's like a stain on your jeans while you're in class or out. Constantly there, constantly bugging you. But you can't just strip off your jeans and walk around in your underwear just to avoid looking at that stain or knowing it's there. I wish I could turn my brain off, wash the stain off, but I can't. There's just a lot to think about. I think that's all I'm going to write about it for now because I just can't bring myself to type everything out and read it on a computer screen as well as hearing myself talk to... well myself in my head. Pray for my sanity because I think I'm losing it.
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