Why isn't there passionfruit soda in the US?

Passionfruit soda is awesome. Enough said.

I'm moving in with a beauty pageant girl for the spring semester... yup you read that right, beauty. pageant. Well she's gorgeous, and I hear she's incredibly nice which I don't doubt... but all I have to say is: there goes my self-esteem. Glad all I ate for the last 5 months in Uganda was starch, starch, and more starch, and we tried to fry just about anything we could get our hands on.

I have no idea how to exist without the other intern anymore. We've been joined at the hip ever since she got here and now this connection will be severed... What will I do?! Wahhhhh!

I am really, really, REALLY going to miss Uganda. I'm going to miss chapati and rolexes like a missing limb. I wish I could get on a plane, go home for 2 or 3 weeks, and then come back here. I love this place. I really do. I even love the unpleasant, not so fun stuff, because it's an adventure. I can always look back on something and laugh or find something fun to make out of it.

I am looking forward to a few things back in the States:

• Constant and dependable electricity and internet
• Nicely paved roads
• Driving my own car once in a while
• Being able to drink water out of the tap
• Flushable toilets
• Running water and showers with great water pressure
• Seletively bred, steroid-fed, antibiotic-injected chicken that have more meat on their bones (free range Ugandan chickens just doesn't taste the same)
• Chinese food
• Pizza
• Beer (more specifically Spotted Cow, Sam Adams, Miller Lite, Leinenkugel)
• Getting a tad tipsy and having fun with friends
• Snow
• Talking to my family on the phone without racking up a giant phone bill
• The male species...

I cannot believe by Friday night, I'll be back in Wisconsin!!! I'll either be unable to sleep due to jet lag or I'll collapse in exhaustion. If it's the former, those friends who read this and live in Milwaukee, call me and let's hang out! xoxo

A bit of ADD for today's post

I've been here over 3 months now. And I love it here. I look back and yes, it was really, really hard to adjust to being alone all the time and just living in a new place. But I am so happy I came back.

The other intern and I spend essentially 24/7 together, especially we're in Sembabule. We share a room, we work together, we eat together. The only time we really don't see each other is when we're showering or in the pit latrine. I wonder is she's sick of me yet... I'm not sick of her!! Having a fellow American to talk to is so nice. I never realized that before this experience but it is so true.

Food... yes I talk about this a lot but I miss food. Savory, delicious food... I just ate some instant oatmeal and a few crackers for breakfast. Very unsatisfying. I love food... I love being able to go to a grocery store or to a restaurant with a giant menu...

I think I'm just getting weirder the longer I stay here. I find the littlest things amusing: bugs, goats, chickens, throwing my leftover ramen into the garden as compost... Just a warning to those of you I will be seeing in December, I'm going to need a bit of help readjusting. Maybe reverse culture shock session.

My next goal for traveling is to go somewhere in South America. I think that's a pretty good goal for 2011, don't you think? There will also be at least 1 visit to DC during my spring semester, a San Francisco visit in the summer (family reunion)...

There's sun today, so SMILE!!!

It’s so easy to make a laundry list of complaints about Uganda, but in efforts to feng shui my soul and to find zen, I’m looking at the brighter sides of things (at least I am today).

My hair is growing (thank goodness). Remind me the next time I jet off to a country where running water may not be readily available, NOT to cut my hair, no matter how much easier I think it will be to manage. Remind me of depression and sorrow and the inability hairs like a dog that could be used to sew a new shirt with. I shaved my legs with deep concentration for the first time in a month. Last time I tried to shave, I did it in the dark and let’s just say I did a horrible job. This time, I actually had light and opened a new razor. I’ve been thinking about waxing. I tried getting my eyebrows waxed once. My facial skin was NOT having that one. I’ll never be doing that again. I am a big fan of the Brazilian, but I’ve never tried to get my armpits waxed. Thoughts? I think this would hurt more than the Brazilian!

Mefloquine. I wouldn’t give this drug up even if you tried to convince me to. I love the dreams, I hate the dreams. It’s like a grab bag of really bizarre and really messed up. There was the rape dream (I guess this would be a nightmare), the running a race carrying a watermelon dream, the friend hates me dream (still have no idea why K was screaming at me in my dream), the OMG there’s a giant spider crawling on me dream (didn’t wake up too happy with that one), and the ex dreams (those usually range from pretty normal to extremely messed up).

I’m pretty sure I have some crazy tropical disease or some bug keeps biting me because I keep getting these itchy bumps in random spots. Not mosquito bites, but just weird bumps that itch. I’m just waiting for the day one of these bumps gets itched open and a maggot crawls out (yes this is in reference to the maggot from 2 years ago that was dug out of someone’s shoulder). Either that or I’m getting some mutant form of the chicken pox.

Lake Bunyonyi

And in typical form, I will provide some commentary for my Lake Bunyonyi Weekend Vacation.

Overnight bus ride:
The bus we were supposed to get on left without us because people gave us poor instructions. We finally managed to get on a bus. Once we sat down, a man started selling something to the entire bus. At first we thought it was medicine, and since he was speaking Luganda, we had no idea. Then the words "for your girlfriend, for your boyfriend" were thrown in and we were able to figure out that he was selling lub. On a bus ride that would last 8 hours. Then the people in front of me bought some. Nothing happened... that I know of. Also the guy sitting across from us on the bus was rather creepy. Staring at my friend and I the entire bus ride. He kept smiling. Since it was dark, the only thing you could see was his white smile. Very strange and a little disconcerting. And finally, I had to pee at one point when our bus was stopped in the middle of nowhere. No bathrooms around, no rest stops available. Instead, I walked into an alleyway and peed. For a while I thought someone would come up behind me in the dark, screaming. Didn't happen though. Still... another disconcerting event.

Daytime on the Island:
We ended up laying out in the sun all Saturday and soaking up the warmth. Problem was that I didn't drink very much water. So by the time we went up for dinner, I wasn't feeling too hot. I thought I needed to throw up, so I walked to the bathroom. I passed my friend and realized I was about to pass out. Woops. Got very woozy, shaky, and had to sit down. Not a great move on my part. Oh and I have the strangest sunburn ever. Which just shows how poorly I put on sunscreen. The entire weekend was also spent cracking "that's what she said" jokes, discussing sex, and drinking. It was definitely a summer vacation with 20-somethings.

All in all though, Lake Bunyonyi was amazing. Well worth the 8 hour trip out there and back.

Inappropriateness

Since I cannot express every incredibly insane thought of mine on the other blog, I figured I'd update this one on any and all things random and inappropriate. All for your reading pleasure.

If God loved women, He would have made it easier for us to go to the bathroom. I mean, seriously. Why do guys have it so easy? Every night when I walk into the pit latrine, I think about this. At night, all the bugs are attracted to the light bulbs in the latrines (when there is power), so going to the bathroom is an episode of listening to bugs buzz incessantly around your head. It'd be so much easier to pee standing up and be done with it. Nope, instead I have to worry about things crawling out of the hole and up my leg; if a mosquito is going to bite me in an inappropriate place... you get what I mean. I KNOW I said I was going to stop blogging about bathrooms, but really, it's just such a fun experience out here that I can't not talk about it.

To go months without sex... I'm just going to say, it's very depressing.

So I'm out in a remote area. I never wear pants while I'm out here. I'm always in a skirt and can I just say, when it's hot, the chaffing that goes on is out of this world. I never have this issue in the USA but here, it seems to happen every once in a while. Grr. But when I'm alone in my room, I strip down to shorts and a sports bra, throw on my iPod (with broken headphones, by the way), and jump around. It's my one way of relieving stress and frustration without having to choke, stab, punch, or murder someone. It's also a way of working out.

The traditional food here is matoke, plantains boiled and then mushed together. Usually it's coupled with beans or a meat. I eat it every day for lunch. Honestly, when I get back to the US, I'm not eating bananas again for at least 6 months. It gets a little... old? But my Africa diet rocks. I'm pretty sure I can lose the weight I gained in Boston (which I did cuz I didn't work out and ate like crap).

Every night, I hide in my mosquito net like a freakshow because I hate mosquitoes and they annoy me. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, paranoid there is a mosquito in my net, eating me alive. I know, I'm nuts. It's the mefloquine.
And why oh why was that military guy married?!?!?!?!?! Girls, if I could have taken a picture of him to show you, I would have. Fantaaaaaastic bod, great tattoos... anyway...

My little sister is adorable. I love her. This is the song she wrote for me and sent me in an email, with directions and everything:
WHEN THERE IS A DASH BETWEEN A WORD THEN U SPELL IT OUT!! XAMPLE: c-a-t

I HAVE A J,
A ..........J-E-,
I HAVE A J-E-S-S-I-C-A,
THAT LIVES IN MY F-A-M-I-L-Y
AND I AM VERY S-A-D
THAT SHE IS IN...U-G-A-N-D-A
FOR THE S-U-M-M-E-R!! :(
JESSICA IS IN UGANDA FOR THE SUMMER!!
(IM STILL VERY SAD)
:(

Random UG Thoughts

Going to the pit latrines at night are not as bad as I imagined the experience would be. There’s really nothing scary about it. The latrines are actually lit with light bulbs inside, so you don’t need a head lamp or anything (unless there is no power). Problem is bugs are highly attracted to these lights at night, so while you’re doing your business, all you can hear is the humming of bugs flying around and around. It’s unnerving. One last piece of advice that I tell myself every time I use them: DON’T LOOK DOWN! Ok, I promise to stop writing about pit latrines… soon.


Dust dust and more dust. Sembabule is very dusty whenever it’s not raining, which coats my clothing and skin with a beautiful layer of red African dirt.

But all in all, there is something great about living here, away from the city. It’s peaceful and life is very simple. I enjoy it.

Jessica vs. Bob the Frog (Details)

When I say I did a little screaming/shrieking/talking to Bob, it went something more like this (with a touch of whining):

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM? Ok… I really would prefer not to crush your guts all over the carpet. So get the F*** out! NONONONO don’t go over there! Where did you go, Bob? WHERE THE F*** DID YOU GO?! Oh crap I lost him. Now what do I do? Ughhh I hate nature! Maybe I should keep him… he probably eats bugs. But what if he jumps onto my bed net in the middle of the night?! Or worse, what if I mess up the net and he jumps on ME? Ew. Ok, BOB, GET OUT! Move move move! Why won’t you move? I don’t want to touch you. AHHHH don’t jump on me! GET THE F*** out! Ugh where’s a stork when you need it to eat frogs. OUT OUT OUT. GET OUT! Ew I’m getting frog-ness all over my spatula. Gross. AHHH GET OUT. DON’T JUMP IN MY PURSE! Ew. Out Out Out. Oh phew… you’re out the door. BYE!”

In other words, if there had been someone standing outside my room or if the guard understood more English, it would have been fairly embarrassing. If it had been a spider or a large bug, at least I would have crushed it. But it was cute Bob… so what else could I do but scream and shoo?

An update on the bathroom situation: I’m getting much better at using pit latrines. By the time I leave, I’ll be a pro.

Ugandan Issues

(Written July 22) Uganda is amazing, and I love it here. My only current issues are: bathroom use and the fact that matoke can only be eaten day after day a certain number of times.


To tackle the first issue, I’m slightly terrified to use the pit latrine for the reason that I’m petrified that I’ll miss the hole. Given, the hole is rather large and it’s not like I’m blind so I can spot myself. BUT still. And here’s the other thing, after you’ve gotten used to the porcelain throne, squatting to do your business is rather difficult. That is the one thing Americans don’t do, but the Ugandans do all the time: squat. Squat to peel plantains, squat to go to the bathroom, squat to bathe, children squat all the time. For me, after squatting for a while, my feet feel achy, my calves start to tingle, it’s not exactly the most comfortable position. But now that it’s Day 2 in Ssembabule, I’m getting a little more accustomed to it. One of my greatest fears in the world: falling into a pit latrine. You know, Slumdog Millionaire style, except that kid jumped. Just the idea gives me the heebeejeebies.

As for issue two, it is what the Ugandans call “green bananas.” As for the bananas we’re used to snacking on, those are called sweet bananas. Green bananas aren’t sweet and they are, obviously, green in color. In other words, they are plantains. One of the staples of the Ugandan diet is boiled/steamed and mushed bananas. Matoke. It really has no flavor and is always paired with meat, vegetables and/or g-nut sauce. To make it, you peel a bunch of green bananas, stick it in a pot, throw in some water, and boil. Tada. Eventually the bananas get soft, turn yellow, and get mushed together. It’s rather dense, so I can only ever eat so much. It’s pretty good. I just don’t exactly love it as a meal everyday.

Children look at me and either smile and wave OR they just stare. The young ones especially stare. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure this little girl was about to cry. The ladies around me were laughing, telling me she has never seen anyone so pale. Since I’m in such a remote area (the words of Ugandans, not me), I am one of not very many foreigners. I hear there’s one Peace Corps volunteer that works here, but I haven’t seen her yet. I haven’t seen any mzungus for 2 days now.

Well, off I go to start a day of work (this was written on my computer early in the morning but posted later). Next time you go to the bathroom, be thankful that your toilet flushes.