It's almost August

Facebook has unfortunately been blocked on my work computer so work life just got a little more boring. And Pandora. And YouTube. And all those other fun sites. Maybe it's time to think about investing in a smartphone...

A lot of my friends in Abuja have either left already or on their way out. And I'm about ready to join them. It's been an awesome year. I have done some things I never thought I would have done in Abuja this year:

• Walked home at almost 5AM in the morning (don't recommend)
• Jumping in the pool with friends at 3AM (I do recommend this but only if you have a change of clothes or a towel) 
• Partied until I wished I wasn't Asian and actually had a liver (recommend)
• Met some fantastic people that I hope to stay in touch with (recommend)
• Gotten really really sick (read: explosive diarrhea) (NOT recommended)
• Had _________ (recommend highly)
• Learning how to stitch someone's foot up (FUN!)
• Thought to be a hooker at a club and had an old man try to pick me up (don't recommend)
• Get hit on by anything with testosterone and a penis (don't recommend)
• 80's & 90's Party (highly recommend)
• Making pasta when totally intoxicated (don't recommend, you burn your tongue)

The list is probably longer but that's all I can think of for now. 

Party Rock Anthem

USM party... Let me give you some deets. Think of a frat house from college. Then throw in some middle aged men, some 20 somethings, some 30 somethings, several young, skankily clad Nigerian women... And then add alcohol. Yea... that's what it was like. I mean, don't get me wrong. It was plenty of fun to people watch and such. But seeing old... like visibly old white dudes getting up on young Nigerian women... kind of skeezy. Ok, really skeezy. Well no matter, it was still fun. Throw in some Jack and Coke, Sam Adams, Heineken, etc. Everyone's having a grand ol' time. It was a little weird getting drunk in front of my boss though. It's not something I'm totally comfortable with... so I definitely behaved. I don't know what's standard protocol in the expat world, but it definitely seems like there's a fuzzy line between not allowing work and social lives crossing. Anyway, I made friends with the Ms. They seem like good people to be buddy-buddy with if anything ever goes south. These boys look sooo young. Baby-faced... faces as smooth as a baby's bum. It's kind of adorable... also kind of weird. But no matter, they are still really nice. They even gave us a lift home, which technically I don't think they were supposed to do since they were still under midnight curfew and it was past midnight. But regardless, I'm grateful. I'm excited to go to the ball they are hosting next month. I bought a ticket to it- the ticket is not a piece of paper. No, it's a thing of metal that could probably break a window if I threw it. Probably the best souvenir for an event I've ever seen. A ticket AND a momento. Can't wait to get dressed up and party a bit more in a few weeks.

Happy Africa

I love Africa. Maybe this is too big of a blanket statement. But I do. I step outside, take a deep breath, and Ahhhhh there's the smell. That distinct Africa smell. I can't explain what it is. But I love it. Even at my lowest points when I'm here, I still love it. Deep inside.

That being said, Hello! I write from a different continent in a different time zone. I have nothing special to report. I haven't started work yet so really there's nothing unique to say.

All I have to say is this: you are not allowed to complain about being here until you have been here at least a month. You have to embrace the situation and understand that this is not Amurica. Things work differently here and yes, things do not always work the way you wish or want. But this is the way things work here. And yes, maybe you didn't sign up to live in a hut in Africa. But you have to understand that your life is 1000x better than many of those around you and you may not have as many amenities as you would back at home at your disposable. Welcome To Africa. Accept it/ suck it up or please leave.

Keep All Hands and Feet Inside The Moving Vehicle... Or the Country

I just finished an almost 2 week training to prep me for my upcoming move. I can tell you a few things about this trip:

• I'm ending it with a major head cold. It's awesome. Not.
• When there's a bomb, there's often a secondary bomb. Tertiary bomb. And so on. I guess bad people like that sort of thing. Blowing up people and buildings and such.
• WMDs. Bad. Bad. Bad. Enough said.
• If you're ever taken as a hostage... there are several options. Kind of like Mad Libs. Fill in your own blanks.
• If you ever notice someone/people following you, don't confront them and ask them why they are following you.
• I made some awesome friends. Winning!
• That random West African country I'm going to? Lots of scary things are said about that place.

In conclusion, I'm way more pumped about leaving than I was 2 weeks ago. Which seems to be counterintuitive but when have I ever been logical? FOUR DAYS LEFT!

Quick Trip

I moved back to Wisconsin less than 2 weeks ago. But now I'm heading back to Boston for a quick trip. My boyfriend is getting surgery. Let's not get into the details or else I may have a nervous breakdown. But let's just say it's not just appendicitis. I'm stressed out, scared, worried... you could list just about any other adjective with those same ideas. But anyway that's a slight update. Just send a prayer or a thought tomorrow that everything goes smoothly for him. And my sanity.

Some other thoughts-

I finally got a Kindle. Gift from the boyfriend- he's too sweet. I DO still love the feel of a book. Holding it in my hands. Turning the pages. However, I do understand the logic to the electronic version of a book. I've bought a few books so far and downloaded tons of free books. Let's see how fast I can fill up my Kindle. Tehehe

Moving to Africa again is rather stressful. I wish I had put all my Uganda stuff all together when I got home... turns out I'm not that smart. I have to hunt down my Africa pants again, etc etc etc.

My computer has been getting excessively hot recently. It's kind of annoying. I think there's something wrong with it but I don't really want to take it into Geek Squad. I will have to soon... sigh...

Life changer

I just accepted a fellowship position in West Africa. I cannot believe 1) I got offered a position, 2) I'm moving, 3) I'M GOING TO BE WORKING/LIVING IN WEST AFRICA for the next year. I am so excited and yet so panicked. The place I'm going isn't exactly the nicest places in the world to work- take for example the latest news of bombings just yesterday. Part of me is jumping for joy. This is a job. In public health. With a government institution. This year of international experience will add even more to my resume. It is INTERNATIONAL experience, living abroad, dealing with the hardships, etc. And then there's the stupid side of me that goes: OMG what did I just commit myself to?!

But yes, I have a job. I'm moving to Africa again. The words: "It's not a hardship, it's an adventure" have not echoed through my head louder.

Gym

I'm trying to focus on going to the gym more often, getting in shape and such. I have signed up to run the 5k that is the day before the Boston Marathon. I may not be able to run a marathon, but I may be able to survive a 5k. Though, this now means I have to work out.

Today I was at the gym and I'm on a stationary bike, happily biking along. This man sits down next to me and BAM! I was hit with one of the worst wafts of BO I have ever smelled. And I've been in a full matatu in the middle of Uganda, people! So here's the lesson. You may sweat a lot at the gym. I encourage it. But please, PLEASE, I beg of you, slap on some deodorant. Lots of it. Before you start working out. Thank you.  Your fellow gym members and I thank you.

Do the stressed, pouty dance

So... it's another late night here in Boston. I manage to procrastinate just enough on the right things that lead me to stress, panic, and start chewing on my own hair. Last spring, I pulled an all-nighter. This spring, I do late nights, not enough sleep... on a rather regular basis. Healthy? I think not. But now let me do my stressed, pouty dance. (Why it's pouty? Who knows. I just feel like pouting, sulking, what have you. Let's just chalk up the pouting to: I'm tired and shouldn't have procrastinated so long.) Btw my boyfriend is sweet and delivered pretzels, Diet Coke, and Chex Mix to me as I freaked, whined, and pouted. I wonder why he puts up with my insanity, cuz it must be like dating a 4 year old sometimes.

I'm taking this biostatistic computer programming class. Learn biostats while you learn how to speak computer-speak. OMG. The best thing ever. NOT. I am the Asian that is incompetent when it comes to technology. I missed the boat on that gene... Thanks parents.

Oh right, I sprained my ankle last Monday. Now you might ask: how'd you do that? Well, you see, it's a funny story:

• I'm walking home (I made a quick trip home to see my mom- sorry I didn't see any of my Midwest lovers, but I spent my time with the fam) from the airport, pulling my luggage behind me. I'm thinking: I'm hungry, I need to work out this week, I'm REALLY going to start working out regularly. Then BAM. I'm on the ground. Rolled the ankle. I'm in so much pain I can't catch my breath. I sit down on the concrete sidewalk. Whimper. Cry. No one's around to see me. I can see my apartment building door like 20 feet away. Then a guy in a wheelchair rolls up. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get help?" I manage a I'm okay, I'm okay. He goes: I would help you myself... but I can't. I don't know about you but now looking back, I giggle a little. The one person who sees me is the one person who can't physically help me. Anyway, eventually he rolls away and I grit my teeth and hobble to my apartment. I then proceed to 1) call my mom and cry, 2) sit on the floor until my boyfriend arrives to help me, 3) stare at my other leg which is bleeding excessively from the knee. So yes, I'm the most graceful creature out there.
• And if you're concerned about me (which you probably aren't but that's okay, I understand): I'm doing better these days but I still have a bit of a hobble.

I have discovered the wonders of Sephora. It's fun. It's like a playground. I can't afford anything but looking and touching is still wonderful. It's drawing me in. It has put its spell on me. Too bad I'm still disabled and don't know how to put makeup on like all the pretty girls do.

Jobs. I need to find a job after graduation. Sigh. What if I can't find one and become a homeless person? Will you let me live with you?

Baby shoes are the cutest things ever. Teeny! But also the most impractical things. Actually baby socks are probably the most impractical. Shoes are next. Because: a baby is in the stroller. Kicks off sock or shoe. Has now lost one! There is no longer a pair. All that money you just spent on a pair of shoes. Gone. Just a thought.

I have nothing more to say at the moment since it is closing in on 3:30am and I desperately need sleep in order to make words become coherent sentences tomorrow in class. So I will close with this: I want to go back to Uganda because the weather here in New England is just not not not NOT okay.

A New Year

Hellooooooo out there. I know I've been MIA for a while. Blame the adjustment back to the US. Currently it's blizzarding in the good ol' New England area and all I want is to fly back to Uganda. Immediately. Snow is not cool. I'm rocking the hot pink winter boots, but I'm still freezing. What I really want is one of those huge black full body sleeping bag jackets, but something tells me if I got one, I'd be disowned by several people.

This new year brings a new place to live, new roommate with her dog, and new boyfriend. Will write more soon. :)

Why isn't there passionfruit soda in the US?

Passionfruit soda is awesome. Enough said.

I'm moving in with a beauty pageant girl for the spring semester... yup you read that right, beauty. pageant. Well she's gorgeous, and I hear she's incredibly nice which I don't doubt... but all I have to say is: there goes my self-esteem. Glad all I ate for the last 5 months in Uganda was starch, starch, and more starch, and we tried to fry just about anything we could get our hands on.

I have no idea how to exist without the other intern anymore. We've been joined at the hip ever since she got here and now this connection will be severed... What will I do?! Wahhhhh!

I am really, really, REALLY going to miss Uganda. I'm going to miss chapati and rolexes like a missing limb. I wish I could get on a plane, go home for 2 or 3 weeks, and then come back here. I love this place. I really do. I even love the unpleasant, not so fun stuff, because it's an adventure. I can always look back on something and laugh or find something fun to make out of it.

I am looking forward to a few things back in the States:

• Constant and dependable electricity and internet
• Nicely paved roads
• Driving my own car once in a while
• Being able to drink water out of the tap
• Flushable toilets
• Running water and showers with great water pressure
• Seletively bred, steroid-fed, antibiotic-injected chicken that have more meat on their bones (free range Ugandan chickens just doesn't taste the same)
• Chinese food
• Pizza
• Beer (more specifically Spotted Cow, Sam Adams, Miller Lite, Leinenkugel)
• Getting a tad tipsy and having fun with friends
• Snow
• Talking to my family on the phone without racking up a giant phone bill
• The male species...

I cannot believe by Friday night, I'll be back in Wisconsin!!! I'll either be unable to sleep due to jet lag or I'll collapse in exhaustion. If it's the former, those friends who read this and live in Milwaukee, call me and let's hang out! xoxo

MASH

What do you do when you are bored at work? We play MASH. I barely remember how to play this silly game and didn’t remember all the categories you have to give, but I can now tell you: I am going to move into a pink mansion in Boston and marry JS when I’m 33. JS will be a professional racecar driver, while I will be an author. We will have 4 dogs and 18 kids. Yes, 18. Then I will die at age 54, probably from the exhaustion of birthing and raising 18 kids. So… that was my Tuesday morning. Fascinating and stimulating, I know. AND the folded fortune thingy I made told me that I’m going to get malaria. Awesome. Good thing these fortunes are total BS because having 18 kids boggles my mind.


Well I feel like this blog has not been as entertaining as it had in the past but I have really nothing entertaining to report. It’s not like: oh so I met this guy last night… cuz there’s no guy to meet. But all I can say is I’m super excited for this weekend because we’re going to Kampala. And I have like two weeks left in Uganda. TWO. THAT’S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh… I’m going to miss this place and my significant other who I live and breathe with.

Give me a P for Pizza!

I dreamed about pizza. I got pizza! Last night was awesome. When my supervisor and the operations officer brought us that pizza, I was ecstatic. Ok, it was no Pizza Hut or Digiorno's. It was actually more foccacia bread-like. And the tomato sauce wasn't exactly tomato sauce, it was more of a pink color. Which is a bit strange, but I don't care. It's pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've officially hit the 3 weeks left mark. I'm so sad!!! What will I do without my pit latrine, my Claire, or my chapati stand?! But watch out, Midwest... here I come!!! Please have some snow for me to play in.

The Magical Fate Fairy

Fate. Some sort of magical power or being managed to send me a roommate that manages to keep me sane and isn’t annoying as all h*ll. We actually make a pretty solid pair and have essentially become an old married couple. We have our routines and roles. Here are some examples of why and how we fit together perfectly:

• Every morning of a work day, I shower first, then she showers. Without fail. No matter who wakes up first.
• When we were staying in the house in Mubende, we always sat on the same side of the table. Every day. Without fail. Then we were there for the 3 meetings, we were in the house for a while with our program manager’s husband. When we sat down at the table, you guessed it. We sat in our designated spots.
• Her favorite Starburst colors are red and pink while mine are yellow and orange, which means we swap the fun-sized candy packages of Starburst for our favorite colors and never have to fight over colors.
• Her favorite Skittles colors are purple and red while mine are green and yellow. WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.
• When we cook, I mostly man the stove and she usually washes the dishes at the end. 
• We both like to read and have similar tastes in books.
• We enjoy movie watching and have pretty similar taste in movies (Step Up, Pearl Harbor, Romeo + Juliet, Love Actually, Stepmom- to name a few) and TV shows (Glee, Gilmore Girls, The Office). And we don’t judge each other for the girly, silly movies.
• We both think Channing Tatum and Josh Hartnett- HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

 

We exist together 24/7. I have no idea how I’m going to survive without her once I move back to the US. It’ll be like I lost a limb… a piece of my soul… and yes she’s going to read this one day and think I’m even crazier than she thought I was.

 

There has been this random wooden penis sitting on the bookshelf in the office for as long as I can remember. I used to look at it and never really thought about what it was or think anything of it. Then I was looking at the family planning books sitting by this thing and finally realized what it was. Family planning- condoms- fake penis to use in demonstrations… ohhhhh I see now. Yes it’s taken me like 5 months to realize what was sitting on the shelf.

 

I feel old. Back when I was growing up, ALL those years ago, us girls went ga-ga over boy bands. We had 98 degrees, NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, O-Town, LFO, BBMAK, Westlife, right? Now girls are psycho over Justin Bieber (who I think looks like a girl), the Jonas Brothers… there are probably more but I’m totally out of the loop. Why am I thinking about this? Oh they’re just blaring a Westlife remix in town.

This weekend was pretty slow. We didn't have power during the day but then it'd come on at night. So at least we could watch some TV shows and movies in the evening. I've been reading like a crazy person, usually finishing off a book a day. But at the rate I'm going, I'm going to run out of books to read in a week.

Less than a month before I get back!

Indian food makes me want to roll around on the floor like a happy puppy dog

This past weekend was great. I spent way too much money and ate way too much Indian food, but living the occasional life of excess is actually rather fun. Good thing I spend like 20 cents a day, if that, in Sembabule. Thursday night, Indian food at Haandi's. Friday night, Indian food at Nawab. Saturday afternoon, Indian food at Masala Chaat. I may have a serious addiction problem and will need to find good Indian restaurants in the Midwest and New England when I get back to the USA. Garlic naan paired with a delicious Indian dish make me want to run around squealing with happiness. Yes, I mean squealing like a little child on Christmas day.

Shopping in Uganda is not the same as shopping in the States. Obviously. But I have come to enjoy it just as much except for the negotiating prices part. Sometimes it's just nice to have everything at a fixed price and you know exactly how much you need to pay. Arguing with shop owners is not my forte (it's my dad's) and it just gets old after a while. BUT I have managed to finagle some cool stuff to bring back. Including one really sweet silver ring. I probably paid way too much for it, but I love it so that's my justification. Oh and also cuz I'm probably not going to make it to Kenya or on another trip before I leave, SO rather than spending money on hotels, bus tickets, etc... why not just shop?

30 days left in Uganda! Wicked crazy, I know! I'm going to really miss this place. Miss being around the other intern 24/7, attached at the hip. Miss my supervisor who I love and wish I could bring her back to the US with me. And miss everything about Uganda. At the same time, I'm pumped to drive a car by myself on the RIGHT side of the road. Take a hot shower. Not have to worry about frogs jumping out randomly at me, the cow mooing at the crack of dawn, dodging pigs/chickens as I cross the street. I am also rather excited for the male species. I miss the smell of boy, the boy sense of humor, boy everything. Being here has been like being on a man fast again and I have to say it's not exactly the most fun. Though it has helped me find myself and learn more about myself. Blah blah blah cliche I know, but rather true.

I have nothing of real importance to report. So for all you readers in the Midwest who I know personally, see you in a month!!!!!!!!!!!! I want beer, cranberry/vodkas, pizza, Sour Patch Kids, Wheat Thins, and a bread bowl with soup. Thank you very much.

I dream about pizza...

I have cravings like no other. 40 days left in Uganda and all I can think about is what I want when I get back. Don't get me wrong. I love it here. I will miss the chapati and rolexes to an extremely unnatural extent but when I'm in the US, I can have sex and good food. Which right now is all I want...

A sexy tidbit: I haven't shaved my legs in like a month. I also haven't really worn makeup since I got here. Can't wait to get back to the US and feel feminine again...

I am pretty depressed that I am missing fall. It's my second favorite season. My favorite being winter since I love snow. All I want right now is an apple. A fresh, crispy, delicious apple... want want want.

On a more serious note, I've been thinking... isn't it amazing how certain decisions in your life change its direction forever? There are several moments in my life that I marvel at. If I had taken the other option, who knows where I'd be now or who I'd be. I often play the what if game and marvel at how my life has simply fallen together. A series of random decisions, occasional mishaps, and or the game of chance...

All you need to do is feed the need

Mmmm and my need was chips, egg, and Nile Special beer. Ladies and gentlemen, I am enjoying my first buzz since I went to Rwanda and it is delightful. And when paired with an omlette and some chips, I am rather satisfied. Well... obviously not in every way, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

Pop music and a good buzz are also a good combination. Why does Jason Derulo always say his name at the beginning of his songs? I mean, yes it's nice to know who's singing the song but really, it's rather egotistical. Now if you were Usher, I'd forgive you. But you're not that big yet, so calm yourself.

Oh and my feet are rather burnt from running around after kids all Saturday. That's the only part of my body that is a deep, dark brown. I wonder if it's really a tan or my body is now integrating the reddish brown dirt of Uganda into my skin so that I can carry it with me for the rest of my life... Either way, my feet have weird tan lines and are a dark brown color.

46 days left in Uganda... this half of me is depressed. The other half says WOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Here's the DL

So our office in Mubende is on a hill. Going up and down the hill is a workout in and of itself. And since I'm completely out of shape... oiy... Going down to buy more bread is a chorse. And then other intern had the unfortunate incident of eating it as we walked up the hill while it was raining. Part of me thought: I'm glad it wasn't me. And the other part said: Jess, that WILL be you next time.

Here's the DL on survival in the middle of Uganda:

• Pop music helps any and all situations. And any mood.
• Peanut butter is essential along with granola bars.
• Head lamps always save the day. Carry one with you. Always.
• Crystal Lite masks any weirdly colored or tasting water.
• Running out of airtime on your cellphone is never a smart situation.
• British guys are hot. The accent...
• British med students... even hotter.
• Finding the best coffee shop in Kampala is essential for maintaining sanity.
• Books. You need books. I would die without them. They are as important as oxygen.
• The ability to find your sense of humor and inner small child. Yes, the jumping around my room and playing with the settings on my head lamp are included.
• Finding the most delicious kind of crackers at the grocery store. Very important when you run out of American supplies.
• Addictions are easy to pick up. Mine currently include: Haribo gummies, games of Freecell on my laptop, and not having self-control.

I miss boys. The male gender. Abs. Boy hair. Boy deodorant. Boy sense of humor. sigh... This is why I will never become a lesbian.

A bit of ADD for today's post

I've been here over 3 months now. And I love it here. I look back and yes, it was really, really hard to adjust to being alone all the time and just living in a new place. But I am so happy I came back.

The other intern and I spend essentially 24/7 together, especially we're in Sembabule. We share a room, we work together, we eat together. The only time we really don't see each other is when we're showering or in the pit latrine. I wonder is she's sick of me yet... I'm not sick of her!! Having a fellow American to talk to is so nice. I never realized that before this experience but it is so true.

Food... yes I talk about this a lot but I miss food. Savory, delicious food... I just ate some instant oatmeal and a few crackers for breakfast. Very unsatisfying. I love food... I love being able to go to a grocery store or to a restaurant with a giant menu...

I think I'm just getting weirder the longer I stay here. I find the littlest things amusing: bugs, goats, chickens, throwing my leftover ramen into the garden as compost... Just a warning to those of you I will be seeing in December, I'm going to need a bit of help readjusting. Maybe reverse culture shock session.

My next goal for traveling is to go somewhere in South America. I think that's a pretty good goal for 2011, don't you think? There will also be at least 1 visit to DC during my spring semester, a San Francisco visit in the summer (family reunion)...

Rwanda and My Bum

Rwanda rocked. It was a bit like Spring Break in Rwanda. I would have loved to spend time exploring the city and doing more touristy stuff BUT it was so much fun to hang out with a big group of people and essentially get wasted. Friday night was awesome. We started drinking at home and played King’s Cup/Circle of Death. HILARIOUS! I made a party foul (spilled Ugandan Waragi everywhere) and had to drink Waragi out of a ladle. Oof, a touch painful. And can I say that though this was not one of our smarter moves, I learned that boda riding with a buzz is GREAT fun. I wouldn’t recommend doing it again, but it was a great experience, nonetheless. We went to this bar and had a great time dancing. The only ridiculous time was when a Rwandan came up behind me, grinding, and all I could feel was his hard-on. NOT OKAY. Saturday night was a lot better; no hard-ons. We brought the Limbo to the dance floor that night and it was hilarious to watch. (I did not participate.)


There was a really cute British guy in our group. Can you imagine anything sexier than a British accent when talking about placentas, episiotomies, and childbirth? I can’t. Unfortunately he has a girlfriend. Oh well, I just enjoyed the view while I could.

The trip back… I feel like my bus ran me over this morning. I am in so much pain. Sitting on a bus, not moving for over 12 hours, can do that. I’m surprised I didn’t get a blood clot and die of an embolism. It was brutal. My nerves are a bit shot from the blow outs and our completely insane bus driver. He was such an idiot. Something should intuitively tell you that flying over speed humps and potholes will not be kind to your wheels. So if you already had problems with your wheels today, MAYBE, just maybe, you should be a little more careful in your driving. HAHAHAHA NOPE. He drove like a complete psycho and the whole time all I could think was: please don’t kill me. You cannot begin to imagine how happy I was to get off that bus. Only to get onto another bus… I am so stiff and sore today.

Forced Friendship reminds me of Freshman Year

I have a new roommate! A real, warm body that speaks to me in American English. Do you know how freakishly cool that is?!?!?! I just hope she likes me or doesn’t think I’m completely insane. I mean, I have been slowly losing sanity (my favorite pastimes are now bug killing, bug watching, and reading). So it’s a little like freshman year of college. You don’t really know who you’ll end up living with but you have to share a small space no matter what. At least overseas, the chance that the person is semi-cool is pretty good. And it turns out, my new roommate is. We get along so far, so success! Yay for forced friendships.


Mmmmm candy. I love candy so much more here than I do in the USA. Probably because it’s just harder to come by. But now I have been snacking on Starbursts, Haribo gummies, and Jolly Ranchers. My teeth are going to rot but my tummy is happy.

My package from a friend included trashy celeb magazines and girly magazines. I’m pretty sure Cosmo is probably illegal in Africa but I now have a copy sitting on my floor. YAY for entertaining reading. Problem is: any sex tips I learn… can’t exactly use them… Oh well. I’ll just have to save them in my memory for when I’m less worried about the prevalence of HIV…

We watched Pretty Woman last night. My thoughts go something like this: “Wow that is an oldie but a goody. Julia Roberts is HOT. See, being a hooker could lead to successful things. I want a rich guy! I want a bubble bath, champagne, strawberries, and unlimited use of a credit card!!!”