Two heads are NOT better than one

My experiences from this weekend has led me to lose most of my barely existent hope in the fundamental normalness of the opposite sex...

Dear Shortie aka Hipster aka I've written about you before,
1) Red handkerchief thing makes you look like a cowboy. A hipster cowboy. You look ridiculous
2) Asking me to tell you 3 interesting things about myself is not a pick up line.
3) Nor is "I recently saw a movie that was really deep and meaningful. It was called Toy Story."
4) Sticking your tongue down my throat is completely uncalled for, disgusting, and not a way to win my heart. Ever.
5) Please never speak to me again.

Dear Grabber,
1) Hanging onto my elbow as I take a break from the dance floor is not a good way to get my attention.
2) Not letting go when I deliberately refuse to turn and look at you and start making conversation with my friends is really not okay.
3) The fact that I walked away without ever looking at you and grabbing the first guy friend I see to dance with is an indication that I'm not interested. Stop staring.

There has to be a rule for texting. I'm sure of it. A school people need to be sent to where they learn how to text new friends appropriately. Where they learn what is okay and not okay to say to people they are interested in. If we're friends and we text crazy things, that's one thing. Texting me if you barely know me at all should be kept to appropriate, friendly, neutral, normal things.

And again, may I reiterate, grabbing a girl, sticking your tongue down her throat, and telling her you may never get this chance again when she has not flirted with you is NOT OKAY.

My theme song is Telephone.

PS Saw the singer JoJo on Saturday night. Who knew she was still singing? Not I.
PPS There may have been pole dancing on Friday night- I did not partake in that one. BUT I may have been ridiculous enough to have danced on a runway Saturday night.